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girlfriend gave me an early holiday gift
(hexbear.net)
Think I can get a discount somewhere?
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this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
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Ah, the War on Christmas.
I was a reporter, in the Doctors Without Diplomas camp for injured civilians from all sides of the war during the dreaded Kringle Offensive launched by the Christmasians. One of the reindeer flying overhead was hit by a Halloween Pumpkin missile right over our camp, the sleigh fell and crushed many already injured atheists.
It seemed like Christmas had the upper hand when they launched their ICBM (Inter Continental Ballistic Mistletoe) at the Kwanzaa headquarters, but most of the troops had already moved to Fort Harambee so only the top brass was caught in the blast.
You could always tell when the main Christmas army was approaching. Their insistence in burning coal meant the snow would turn black as they neared your position.
What a senseless war