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Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

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[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 227 points 5 days ago

Honestly, considering how much of a clown Alex Jones was, they have their work cut out for them if they want to compete at comedic levels!

Either way, this may be the best news I've heard all year, thank you!

[-] hamsterkill@lemmy.sdf.org 116 points 5 days ago

I wonder if this gives them the rights to all of Infowars' library of footage. Maybe they could "keep" Jones as a host by cutting up old clips kinda how South Park did with Isaac Hayes for Chef's last episode.

[-] Joeffect@lemmy.world 67 points 5 days ago

Up for grabs at the auction were Infowars production rights and materials, the Infowars store, domain names, production equipment and other assets — including a Terradyne armored truck and a Winnebago motor home — that can be purchased in their entirety or in parts, according to the firm, ThreeSixty Asset Advisors. Jones broadcasts from the Austin, Texas, area.

[-] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago

I’ll take the middle third of the Winnebago, just carve it out and drop it on Nick Fuentes’ lawn, thanks.

[-] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago

The “shitter’s full” third I hope.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

Considering what The Onion has been able to do with manipulating video for the sake of comedy, I can't wait to see what they do with any of their footage.

[-] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 22 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I hope they own Jones' likeness to the point where they can give DJs the rights to remix his shouts into something of value.

[-] Omgpwnies@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago

Train an AI model to produce new shows with him as the host

[-] theangryseal@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago

This just in! I’m turning my frickin’ self gay! I’m selling the supplements that will get you there too! The deep state wants to control us! NO MORE! You’re not gonna get my frickin’ dna to fight in your wars! You’re not gonna push us around!

eats handful of supplements

These Pro-homoerotics are literally the best on the market. I just now took them and I already want to tear my clothes off and throw the cameraman on this table!

Help support InfoWars and fight the deep state! I can’t do this without you guys and now I want to do you guys!

[-] Cethin@lemmy.zip 9 points 5 days ago

One of the few good uses for generative AI I've seen.

this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
1663 points (99.3% liked)

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