What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Why did the blind man fall in the well? He couldn’t see that well.

A man goes to the doctor and says "I think I have hearing problems." "Can you describe the symptoms?" "Sure! Homer's fat and Marge has blue hair."

Did you hear about the huge sale at the Lego store? People were lined up for blocks.

I sat down for dinner at a restaurant, and the waiter asked me, "Do you want to hear today’s special?" I said, "Yes please." "No problem sir. Today is special."

I'd tell you a time travel joke, but you didn't get it.

I used to work at a toy factory making plastic Draculas. There were only two of us, so I had to make every second Count.