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How come there’s no big gaming community?
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unfortunately it's not as easy as that. defederation isn't meant to be fun. but a last resort. for example if people do illegal stuff on one instance, you want to defederate them WITHOUT having their link and instance name kept around everywhere. But you're right. We still need a good technical solution for that.
You can't stop a user from cross instance subscribing, so if a lemmy.ml user subscribes to ! Antisemitic@bob's-racist-emporium.lemmy.wtf before it's defederated, it should be immediately clear if posting across instances will have no effect to the posting user.
A real world for instance is that I have a subscribe pending to !steamdeck@soupli.xyz thst is either stuck or not being accepted. I've made posts before realizing that lemmy.ml is not federating with that instance and had no idea so I've been contributing to the ether.
Sure. Didn't know this happens. I'd consider this an UI issue and i hope someone files a bug report. If you're explicitly trying to subscribe, or you're already subscribed, you need to get an error message if the software does anything unexpected (ie silently dropping messages).