I don't often self-insert. This character is probably the most self-insert I've done in the 10 years I've been playing D&D and most of that is incidental (him being raised in a theocratic city was really just because the addition made his story more fun). The gender thing would just be nice, and it's a pretty minor aspect of what your character is, I would think. Besides, I think there's always going to be aspects of the player that leak into the character, even if you don't start off that way, it's the nature of the game.