So many people asking me to have my wife do something different on her end. Beloved, she is on iPhone because she doesn’t want to do anything “weird.”

Assuming using a third-party messaging app is "weird", then she can't send you video with acceptable quality. That's how it is.

She can't fix that. You can't fix that. None of the readers here can fix that unless they work at Apple. This may improve in the future when Apple adopts RCS, but there's a lot that real-world implementations of RCS do that isn't in the standard, so the full details of interoperability are uncertain until we see it in the wild.

Now, why can’t I get iMessage on my android phone?

Because Apple doesn't want you to. Apple wants situations like this one to pressure people to buy iPhones because that's apparently easier for some people than agreeing on a messaging app.