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Can’t bring myself to care about myself or life anymore
(hexbear.net)
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Burnout maybe? When's the last time you took a break?
My whole life has been a break. I barely put effort into anything and if I do, it’s only enough to get it done. I have more time off than time spent working and I have nothing to do with it.
If you can find a tiny seed of passion somewhere in your life, and water it little by little, it can become a feedback loop where the bigger the seed grows, the more you want to water it, and the more you water it the more it grows, until some day you realize that your seed has grown into a tree. It's like this with learning an instrument. The better you get, the more you want to play, and the more you play the better you get.
Treating depression is also a feedback loop. At first nothing makes you happy, and you don't have the energy to do anything to change your situation. So you start really small. Work on it a little bit each day. Some days you just manage to shower. But over time, as you keep at it, positive changes start to accumulate, and you start to have more energy to make more positive changes, until some day you realize you're okay.