How do you walk the line between not wanting to impose on the host and understanding they want the space to show their hospitality? (kbin.social)

submitted 1 year ago by Niello@kbin.social to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

5 comments fedilink hide all child comments

And when money is involved, what's your approach to not make it turns into an endless awkward back and forth because both sides want to pay?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] overthebrink90@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

When accepting a favor would impose a financial burden, I usually push back twice and then relent. (1) "Are you sure, I can absolutely get this?" (2)"It's really not a problem, I don't mind paying." If they're still insisting at this point, I'll pack down, especially if it's obvious they're trying to do a nice thing.

I used to be more reluctant to accept that sort of help from folks, but there's a quote from the Thomas Covenant series that goes something like "in accepting the gift, one honors the giver." It's kinda stuck with me since I read it; let people give you gifts, it makes them feel good. Graciously accept, and think about how to pay it forward/back.

[-] deeroh 5 points 1 year ago

Couldn't agree more. I grew up poor, and I've been lucky to find a well-paying job in my adult life. It makes me feel so good to be able to do the things for people that I couldn't do when I was younger. I love that quote too - that's totally true for me. I think I get more satisfaction out of being able to offer something than the person actually receiving the thing.

this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2023

14 points (85.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27028 readers

1710 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.