The Onion

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Apple’s Tim Cook to unveil reasons why your current iPhone is already a piece of shit (newsthump.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

45 comments fedilink

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'Trans People's Issues Alienate the Working Class,' Says Democrat Who's Never Met Either (reductress.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

129 comments fedilink

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Trump Campaign Powerless Against Group of Teenage Girls Saying "Ew" (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 3 weeks ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

35 comments fedilink

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Ezra Levant furious to discover he could have been getting money from Russia this whole time (www.thebeaverton.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

4 comments fedilink

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Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year (theonion.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

12 comments fedilink

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Switchblade-Wielding Subway Rider Locked In Standoff With Penis-Wielding Subway Rider (theonion.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

7 comments fedilink

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‘Woke media is harming our children psychologically’, insists man who is perfectly fine with them doing active shooter drills at elementary school (newsthump.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

4 comments fedilink

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‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens (theonion.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

131 comments fedilink

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Opinion: Millennials Would Be Able to Afford Homes If They Didn’t Let Older Kids Trick Them Into Giving Up Their Most Valuable Pokémon Cards (hard-drive.net)

submitted 4 weeks ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

24 comments fedilink

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Elon Musk Threatens ISS Crash Over X Ban (isglitch.com)

submitted 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) by EtAl_isGitch@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social

10 comments fedilink

SpaceX CEO claims it's "just a prank" in escalating Brazil dispute

!isglitch@lemmy.world

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Opinion: The Fact That the Muppets Only Took Manhattan Means They’ll Never Be “Real” New Yorkers (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 4 weeks ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

6 comments fedilink

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Slippery Slope: Funk Singer Asking You to Give It to Him One Time Probably Going to Ask You to Give It to Him Two Times (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 4 weeks ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

26 comments fedilink

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Donald Trump Promises To Bring Fruitopia Vending Machines Back to Public Schools if Elected in Latest Unhinged Rant (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

37 comments fedilink

Until this moment I completely forgot about those things

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Sources Allege Tim Walz’s ‘Aw, Shucks’ Persona Merely Facade Concealing True ‘Gee Whiz’ Tendencies (theonion.com)

submitted 4 weeks ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

13 comments fedilink

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Cat Scientists Theorize About Third Type Of Food That Neither Wet Nor Dry (theonion.com)

submitted 4 weeks ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

15 comments fedilink

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'Boneless' pizza can have bones, US court rules (lemmy.ca)

submitted 1 month ago by MindTraveller@lemmy.ca to c/theonion@midwest.social

16 comments fedilink

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Lucky Astronauts Still Stranded in Space During Election Year (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 month ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

5 comments fedilink

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Francis Scott Key Estate Sends Cease-And-Desist To Trump For Playing ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ At Rally (theonion.com)

submitted 1 month ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

13 comments fedilink

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Dozens Of Pregnant Women Caught In Hanging Snare Nets Above Texas Hospital Entrance (theonion.com)

submitted 1 month ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

4 comments fedilink

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Trump Calls Out Arlington National Cemetery For Hazard-Filled Fairways (theonion.com)

submitted 1 month ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

10 comments fedilink

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Study: Crows Intelligent Enough To Steal Trinkets, But Foolish Enough To Think Material Goods Will Solve Problems (theonion.com)

submitted 1 month ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

13 comments fedilink

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Husband Asks If Ectopic Pregnancy Good Thing (theonion.com)

submitted 1 month ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

5 comments fedilink

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Woman Wastes Free Monthly Cincinnati.com Article On Story About High School Golf Team (theonion.com)

submitted 1 month ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

3 comments fedilink

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Stop & Shop Discontinuing Cigarette Sales Due to Decline in Cool Teenagers (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 month ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

1 comments fedilink

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AI Pilot Leaves Air Force for Southwest Airlines (www.duffelblog.com)

submitted 1 month ago by SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social

0 comments fedilink