When I'm around new people who I've introduced myself as my chosen name to, I feel comfortable and amazing and more able to be myself. But when I'm around people I already knew before beginning this journey, I feel this weird tension and I'm not sure what to make of it.
If I were to ever look at myself in the mirror and see a pretty person, I'm not sure if I'd have the emotional bandwidth to be able to control what happened next.
Holy shit this is the best bit of all time
I love almost all of them
they/theming transfems
I keep getting they/them'd by people who know I prefer she/her. And I mean honestly I vibe with they/them and might set them as secondary pronouns on this site. But it would be nice to be she/her'd at least once in a while, considering that's how I ask to be referred to as.
I get that I'm mostly masc presenting right now, but I really shouldn't have to earn the right to be she/her'd. It really feels like they're saying "it feels weird to call this man she, but I can compromise with a they so that he doesn't get on my case about it."
Even though I like they/them pronouns, it's starting to feel very tiring and invalidating considering the relative frequency.
It's official. I have plans to go shopping for girl clothes with a friend once I get paid
misgendering, dysphoria
Like a good third of my peers at my job aren't even attempting to respect my name or pronouns. Like even in the slightest. And it's actively making me feel so much worse than I felt before I asked this of everyone, which low key has me regretting coming out.
Before I changed my name there, I was sort of ambivalent to my birth name and male coded language. I recognized they weren't my preference but I didn't hate them. Now that I have an environment I go to every day where everyone there knows my preferences and I have an expectation as to how I want to be interacted with, I feel so distressed when that expectation isn't met. I can't stand to hear people call me my dead name anymore. And honestly this goes for everyone. Now that I've gotten a wee taste of that expectation, it feels like such a punch to the gut when anyone calls me that, even people who have no idea I'm trans. I have never longed for the instant gender swap button more in my entire life. I HATE that my body is preventing me from getting basic respect. For fuck's sake. Also would it kill the guys to stop insisting on calling me "man"? It seriously feels so intentional at this point.
One of them opened a text yesterday with "Hey [dead name]," which they have never historically done. They usually just open with what they want. It's like, is everyone so insistent on actively demonstrating to me that they could not care less about me?
It's not all bad I guess. I know who my real ones are now. The ones who have been so wonderful and who originally made me feel so good in the first zoom call after my initial request.
I tagged this with dysphoria because honestly I'm still not quite sure what qualifies as dysphoria.
I changed my name and slapped a [she/her] on my display name in the work group chat hoping everyone will eventually simply catch on ๐
transphobia, bad friends
I need better friends ๐. I came out to one of the only people that actually stayed with me after the giant falling out I had with my entire friend group after my ex went and fed them all lies about me and they believed her implicitly without talking to me.
He told me he "cares enough about me" to tell me that he doesn't think it's right for him to respect my pronouns, but that he still "loves and respects" me "despite my being trans," whatever the fuck that means.
I feel like I have virtually no one in my life that genuinely cares about me, and I don't know what to do about it with my apparent inability to meet new people.
view more: next โบ
yewler
joined 2 months ago
I drank the first monster of my life today. Where do I pick up my trans license?