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"So, what were you looking to imp-"

"Just fuck my shit up."

"Like... your hair?"

"No, my face. I hate myself, and I need to be as beautiful on the outside as I secretly suspect I am on the inside."

"...And I'm here to tell you all about it with a smile on my face. My bedside manner is impeccable too."

There are so many options for classical American entrepreneurship here. God bless capitalism.

See, this is what I like about the Internet: No matter how obscure, a subject matter expert is almost always right there.

Thanks, buddy.

That sounds painful.

I maintain that the definition of wrong is a function of the intended outcome. The former method is absolutely the correct approach for obtaining 2 dimensional horse-smoothies. And morbidly repainting the workshop.

Straight to the middle of his designated landing zone. As we all know, he's a well prepared kitty.

Much obliged, sir.

This is vitally important: I need to know where that's from. For... uh, science. Yes.

Well, yes. But that's their fault, not yours.

Punchability is a highly competitive field these days. At this point, we should probably just make it an Olympic event.

Hell, make it PPV and it could probably finance an actual health care system for the US.

You definitely got the better deal. I mean... I wouldn't necessarily object to seeing a hair brush used like that on a Nazi either, but only if it was inserted sideways or bristles first.