weegee90

With a different on screen keyboard everytime. Some QWERTY, some A-Z. Some with with a separate section with capital letters instead of a shift button.

"Dearest Abigail,

I have provided a visual representation of my genitals. Please respond in kind."

Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this story "The Ghost Vacuum".

Get Rick Moranis to do it as Dark Helmet, say NOTHING.

Weeeeee!

HeadOn™

"Well, it seems his lungs are completely filled with Owens Corning fiberglass insulation. One third of his body weight is Owens Corning fiberglass insulation. But don't worry, he won't burn in hell... thanks to all that Owens Corning fiberglass insulation."

https://github.com/ChrisTitusTech/winutil is a good option for de-bloating and disabling a lot of the crap. Includes a nice installer similar to Ninite that uses chocolatey or winget. Or just nuke it and throw Windows 10 on it. You can use it unregistered with a few caveats.

Hey now. Some of us may get sick or die, but at least we'll have an overpriced yet somehow super cheaply made satellite security system operated by a ketamine addict.

Wait...

"Welcome to Destruction Junction!"

This almost feels like a Mitch Hedberg joke.