you can imagine an apple in your head and rotate it for free no one can stop you

percussive maintenance

the wizards should stay in their ivory towers and out of our bedrooms. it is my human right to pay someone to come twist whatever part of my body i or they damn well please

(bound?😳😳😳)

please respect my privacy

where's the beef

thank you for your service filling in the blanks excellent work. my neighbor handed me figs from over the fence today and it's just as you say. times are rough and i have physical needs

i can't wear socks to bed because they feel so constraining i also can't have covers over my feet for the same reason i never realized my toes are also rubbing up against each other all night and i am really grateful to this internet person for giving me the natural next step in having the ultimate stimulus-free sleep

my favorite is those cups with the glitter in them when you're taking a particularly aggressive sip from one and it cracks and spills into you and you now have sparkly lips and a few days later a rare poop