Years ago, a coworker greeted me with "Happy 420!"

• Me: "Oh, I didn't know you celebrated Hitler's birthday."
• Him: "What?”
• Me: "April 20th was Hitler's birthday."
• Him: long pause and blank stare "I DIDN'T KNOW HITLER WAS A STONER DURHURHUR!"
• And then I got a new job.

Whatever, don't care. Won't be lured in to eat their crappy food. I could gather more sustenance from sunlight more cheaply and with better service. Bagged lunches unite!

Then they slide your silverware or straw over to you and say ...and there's that."

"Yes of course, that"

Holy shit that ui is poison on mobile

In a final act of defiance, the wasp robbed you of what you wanted most: the certain knowledge of its demise and the peace that comes with it When I am dying, I too will crawl away to my presumable death, never to be seen again. My enemies will spend the rest of their pitiful lives will be spent glancing over their shoulders and checking corners. Waiting for what will never come. They will never know a moment of true peace. The wasp can teach us a great deal about hate. Hate that is truly real and everlasting. All hail the wasp.

I thought the sink/dishwasher combo was just AI craziness but I had to Google it. It's a real thing. What the hell.

Did this professionally for a while. Carpet cleaners would largely go out of business overnight if everyone took their shoes off. Filthy animals.

Tell her to sit on it. And rotate.

If you want mushrooms, SHUT UP. If you want broccoli, what the hell is broccoli anyway? If you want something crazy like pineapple, I KILL YOU. If you like pepperoni and bullets, you've come to the right place.

I'm going to get in that thing and KICK YOUR ASS

I feel personally attacked here.

I bought the good beer tonight