That sounds like what my managers are doing right now, minus the unpivot tables. I have to guess what I am supposed to do.
Mr. Rodgers!
Took a while to count, but should be 1,728. 
/s
Fair enough lol could be like my team names methods, "LinkTH" I would prefer the super long informative method names
Are you a Java developer?
I am currently part of team that is moving away from SF to custom web applications, SF is customizable, yes, but it is riddled with limitations and incompatiblty with other 3rd party services. Turns designing and developing what should be a quick 2 week projects into 4 months projects with all the work arounds you have to build to accomplish a task. If your intention to use SF for anything but a base CRM, just don't you will thank yourself later.
I am guessing it says, 'You got a new stamp! Do you want to post to Miiverse?'
I have kids and not a lot of free time, 4 hrs logged lol
You could always chronic urticaria like me, and just spontaneously breakout for no aparent reason, but at least over the counter antihistamines keep it at bay, it's hell if I forget to take it though.