Up with trans
catter
joined 2 years ago
Give me vegan sizzling fajitas and I am good for a very long time! 🥰 Thank you!
dysphoria, negative
Dysphoric, dissociating, and drunk in the local Mexican restaurant. Food ruled, everything else less so. Hoping to come out in the new year. The more I think about it, the more it feels like self-preservation to come out.
I can't speak to how many may be Nazis, but I personally would never get a rune tattoo because of the association. It wouldn't be enough for me to assume they were a Nazi unless there were other yellow flags.
Thank you 🥰🥰🥰
spoiler
Thank you for your kindness 💜 You and bipp both have made me realize also that the alcohol is more than just returning to a nice (if distressing) moment in my life, it is also about erasing myself in the present. My mind feels free when I drink, but I then have to actively suppress those thoughts to keep from outing myself.
That self-doubt is always there for me. I did go out on a date with my partner in a dress almost two years ago, and it was one of the happiest days of my whole life. Then I was given the choice between my gender (which I was still figuring out) and my marriage. I had almost forgotten that day even happened until I saw that dress hidden away in the closet.
All that to say, there's a consistent feeling of alienation from my body and an equal fear in changing it. It's nice to know that moving past that fear, even though it's hard, is worth it 💜
This rules! Congratulations and best of luck 🥳 Infrastructure is wicked cool
💜💜💜 so happy for you! 🥰
I know I already replied once, but this really is one of the kindest, most thoughtful things anyone has said to me. I am so grateful for your thoughts 💜
spoiler
I am endlessly amazed by the kindness of this community. Thank you so much.
That fear is the only thing holding me back. I have made peace with losing everything but this relationship; if I had just realized a couple years earlier, things would be very different. You're right that it's necessary, though. I'm just not all here like this for anybody.
For a long time, I thought I was faulty. Now I feel confident I just haven't been honest with myself.
alcohol, relationship
Context: Closeted in a complex relationship. Trying to navigate that and come out soon.
My egg cracked nearly two years ago during the only time I've ever been nearly flat-out wasted. Now when I'm feeling dysphoric or overwhelmed I reach for alcohol to take me back to that place. Just enough to feel something. It's not alcoholism (at least not yet), but it is unhealthy.
I come from a family where the majority suffer from some form of addiction. It makes me wonder why it's so common in my family... and maybe if I'm not the only one.
I'm trying to find the courage to come out, knowing that for me the genie cannot go back in the bottle. Several people here have been really helpful in figuring this out. I'm so thankful for each of you 💜
Getting gender euphoria from being dressed like a punk and walking out in the rain. I don't know why, I've always felt happier when the weather is kind of bad. Maybe it's the same reason I love blasting music, it gives me something else to focus on. Wondering if anyone else has a similar experience?