A tale of a man on the Internet who caught a cold

Based on a true story

Damn, the fever is down and the cough is easing up, but my nose feels like it's lined with sandpaper. What to do? Look it up!

Duck Duck Go: dry sinuses

Results:

• (Amazon) Dry Nasal Passage – Deals on Dry Nasal Passage [ad]
• (Thrive Market) Banyan Sinus Nasal Drops – Organic Sinus Remedy [ad]
• (Healthline) Dry Sinuses: Inside Nose, Throat, Symptoms, Headache, and More…
• (Medical News Today) Dry sinuses: Remedies, causes, and how to treat them – Medical…
• (Healthline) 5 Effective Ways to Treat a Dry Nose

Alright, I'll take the bottom Healthline link, the one that doesn't look like it had a stroke.

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They're the same fucking site. Alright, maybe this is another of those cases where DDG is easy to SEO game.

Duck Duck Go: dry sinuses !g

I'll just fucking ignore the AI answer before it tells me to eat glue. Oh, the results are the fucking same, but there's a Mayo Clinic in there. I know from experience that one has also cucked itself from the EU. Fine, I'll throw the Healthline link to archive.is

To verify you're not a robot, please click on tiny pixelated images of fire hydrants for five minutes while an actual robot pretends to know better than you what fire hydrants look like. Doesn't this make you so confident about self-driving cars?

One eternity of downloading later:

How to treat dry sinuses

Dry sinuses occur when the mucous membranes in your sinuses lack proper moisture. This can lead to dry nasal passages, discomfort, nosebleeds, and similar unpleasant symptoms. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Curabitur sagittis eros vitae elit vehicula congue. Curabitur pellentesque risus sit amet ipsum vehicula, nec elementum sem iaculis. Mauris fermentum egestas est non tempus. Aenean urna diam, bibendum ac aliquet id, vulputate ut nunc. Ut luctus leo eu lacus consequat vulputate. In consequat augue at cursus tempor. Aenean tristique felis id fermentum tristique. Maecenas fermentum nunc vitae purus efficitur, id malesuada dui elementum. Etiam lobortis viverra turpis eu eleifend. Integer ac efficitur lacus. Nullam rutrum nisl lacus, bibendum maximus turpis vehicula eu. In at turpis lacus. Etiam libero tellus, imperdiet a fringilla non, tincidunt id ligula. Ut sodales convallis mauris sed semper. Nunc laoreet eros eget nulla mollis consectetur.

What are the symptoms of dry sinuses?

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What causes dry sinuses?

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How are dry sinuses treated?

There are many ways you can treat dry sinuses at home to alleviate discomfort caused by seasonal allergies, irritation from chemicals, or drying from medications or dry air. To get relief, you can:

• place a humidifier in your bedroom at night to keep the air from getting too dry
• stop taking drying medications, such as antihistamines (or ask your doctor or pharmacist to help you choose something with fewer side effects)
• drink plenty of water to stay hydrated get some fresh air if the air in your house is stale or stagnant
• remove as many allergens and irritants from your environment as possible
• irrigate your sinuses with sterile saline using a neti pot or similar product
• use nasal spray to hydrate and lubricate your nasal passages and sinuses
• take a hot shower and inhale the steam
• diffuse essential oils like lavender, peppermint, or lemon for allergies

In some cases, your doctor might need to recommend treatment for your dry sinuses. Make an appointment with your doctor if you:

• have an autoimmune disorder like Sjögren syndrome
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Alright, take it easy with antihistamines and dig out that nasal spray. Thanks, internet. This definitely needed all these steps to solve.

Edit: archive link to the actual article in case it'll save someone else a couple of minutes

Now that AI got involved it's on topic for TechTakes I guess. Making a containment thread because there might be a lot to sneer about this.

Boring version of of the main story: https://text.npr.org/nx-s1-5345802

Skynet declares trade war on penguins: https://archive.is/Nn5MC

Reactionary news outlet celebrates 77% drop in stock price by taking everyone else down with them: https://bsky.app/profile/brianmfloyd.bsky.social/post/3lluybov3i22o

Also a bunch of somewhat less heinous cringe shit.

Global outage on fetching posts. Funny enough, some features are still working as evidenced by the fact #TwitterDown is trending.

Two HN threads about this now, looking forward to some excellent takes

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=38717367 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=38717326

500+ comment thread on whether late marriage and young adult promiscuity causes de-emphasis on movie fanservice. Ongoing record lows of sexual activity among young adults do not seem to factor into the analysis.

Since there seem to be some fellow^1^ Lisp weirdoes around here, thought I might take the chance to submit the inaugural post of NotAwfulTech. Also I figured this is cute. Hope it's not offtopic.

^1^ I'm just a noob though, barely managed to implement my first Lisp today.

Occasionally you can find a good sneer on the orange site