If you're comfortable in your skin, don't worry too much about it. But looking further into autistic communities and their struggles and solutions can still help you see issues you weren't aware of or find coping mechanisms for things you didn't realize could be easier.

Worth pursueing a diagnosis? Probably not.worth looking into? I'd say yes. But go with your gut :)

Yay, more Konsi!

I'm grateful for my adult diagnosis (at age 35) because all of a sudden things made sense. I wasn't being lazy - people liked to call me that, because on a good day with a topic that interests me I will outperform most people. The logical conclusion was if I can do it once, i can do it all the time, and when my performance is subpar it must be because I'm lazy.

The diagnosis has become my shield and armor. I'm not lazy, my brain just refuses to engage on things that do not interest me. There's no way I'll ever get economics, and it's not because I'm lazy.

It helped me be kind to myself and adjust my plans and choices to my nourology. I may be shitty at economics and in being tactful with people, but I'm a great softwaretester, because I do care about people and want to help avoid making people cranky with dumb mistakes in software. The helpless rage I get from a piece of malfunctioning software is something I want to minimize.

Instead of struggling I enjoy my work now, and having a diagnosis allows me to communicate to people what to expect. I can't read between the lines - if you want me to do A, tell me so. Don't mention to me that B and C need someone that needs doing, because I may or may not get you want me to do that - but I sure as hell won't get that you also want me to do A, even if it is a prerequisite.

I'm able to say that I work better with a dark, quiet place, so please don't seat me next to the person who has meetings all day. I can probably work without these accomodations, but I'll be miserable and my work quality will be poor.

Coming back to your question: you don't need a diagnosis per se. I know people that I suspect are autistic but they would probably feel worse knowing it. But what I think you should do is read up on autism like crazy. For your kid, but also for yourself. Read accounts from autistic people, look for autistic spaces. There's plenty of organizations that care for profit and not for actually helping autistic people.

What you will gain is insight into how autistics manage life, what helps them, and youecaneuse that knowledge to help your kid and maybe even find ways to improve your environment. Even if you feel well-adjusted, maybe understanding why something works for you and how youecan make it better can help.

The benefit in the diagnosis for me was understanding myself and the ability to adjust my environment to my needs. For me, the diagnosis is incredibly helpful, but for you and your unique situation, it may not. I heard from people in other places that an official diagnosis has negative legal effects on them. Go research, take away what you need, and once you digested the idea and feel you understand more about it ask yourself again if a diagnosis could benefit you.

You've lived so long without, a year or two probably won't make a difference. If anything, hopefully more doctors are aware of autism and able to successfully diagnose you.

The author acknowledges that if you know one autistic, you know one autistic - just like with neurotypical people - and then proceeds to call for us to become one bloc where everyone loves everyone else.

It's not gonna happen, for the simple reason thät autistics are so diverse. We all know that. It's the same as asking for all humans to hug and get along because we're all humans.

It's one thing to long to be accepted, but another to expect it to happen without a healthy pre-selection. Find the right people and they will accept you. Cast your net to wide and you will be disappointed.

Like liquorice, the really intense one (salmiak). i don't think English has a word for it, since it was not recognized as a flavor before.

The thing is, I know the flavor but wouldn't know how to describe it to someone who doesn't. Asian (Korean and Chinese, to be precise) friends told me it tasted like medicine to them, because apparently it's a common flavor in traditional medicine for them?

Edited for typos.

I don't know you or anything about you but what you said, but holy shit. If I was in your care, I would end up more traumatized than before.

Boundaries are a thing. If people refuse to accept boundaries, as some therapist and especially nurses like very much to do, they are toxic. If someone tells you they don't want to be interrupted sometimes, respect that. Don't go all "I know what's best for you", unless yop're talking to a literal child - and even then think about whether you're just telling the child what to do because you don't think it should be doing what it wants or because it's really better for the kid.

Some people need alone time. It's called introversion. An international trip with constant blabbering sounds like a nightmare. I'm imagining they had booked a double room with no option for OP to withdraw. I would melt down in two days.

Not everyone is maladapted and blaming others. Some people have good reason for what you deem unreasonable demands. I don't know if your client are full-blown adults or have a handicap where their judgement is impaired somewhat, but I want to encourage you to stop and think whether what you're teaching them actually helps them and fits their individual needs or whether you you think you figured out a blanket approach that you try to get everyone to follow, no matter their mental needs.

Edit: I, too, have a relationship, a great circle of friends and a well-paying full-time job, if you want to claim authorities in something here. And I do set healthy boundaries like OP does. There is no one-size-fits-all.

I'm kinda frowning at the thought that you requiring time to yourself and taking care of yourself is avoiding demands. If my therapist told me that I'd rip him a new one. Thankfully he doesn't and actually encourages me to remove myself from unhealthy situations.

My social battery isn't endless. My processing ability isn't endless. I recharge both by spending time alone in my thoughts and hopefully getting into a flow state with whatever I'm doing.

I'm lucky enough that I have a job where that happens - I'm partially able to offset the social and mental cost of a job by simply working. But other than that I allow myself to not be productive.

My awesome therapist once prescribed me to get bored. Sit on the couch, stare out the window and try not to do anything. My brain needs that time to process everything happening during the day. Scrolling the web, comics, news that interest me? Also helping to process and get lost in a flow state.

Once I started allowing myself that, I fell asleep much better, because the input throughout the day gets processed througout the day and not at night. If you always keep busy, try to always be productive, the whole input waiting to be processed builds up like water behind a dam. Once you lay down, the dam breaks and you can't stop. It's not a bad habit to break. It's just a necessity for your brain to do.

If you're anything like me, the only thing you're doing "wrong" is not creating little islands of boredom and flow. If people refuse to accept that, they are the problem. They are crossing boundaries without a second thought. They may think they are helpful but they are not. To me it sounds like you are having your best interest in mind and acting on it despite this weird feeling of "but they love me, I should be grateful".

Love is about a lot of things, and respect is a big one. If boundaries are ignored, these people are acting toxic. I know this feels unhelpful, because you want human connection, but imho these people most likely took more out of you than they gave you. Maybe your friend has his own issues that make him not able to shut up, but it can't be you who pays the price. Maybe that girl thought you need someone to take care of you and who knows better than you and guide you through life, and that's why she nagged.

Long story short: no matter the intention, not everyone who cares about you will be actually helpful. Not everything is your fault. Keep doing you, identify your needs, communicate them (it sounds like you already did that, which is huge) and then enforce them.

From what you mentioned, I actually think you're doing great. Took me years of therapy to get to that point.

I'm insulted how little effort the author put into supporting his thesis.

"Streber" in German is a common insult if you're good in school, and it often meant social death in class. Sure, geek and nerd have become commonplace and are used as German words now, but that's also because if you are one your English is good enough and it's just easier to use the short word from another language that pretty much all geeks and nerds use than to use the German one.

It has actually not really the negative connotation that the English word has, it feels more like a name for a subculture, like goth.

Dude, have you any idea how many doctors told me (professionally diagnosed) that I can't be autistic, sure, this is a bit weird, but it's probably just X, that weird thing is probably just Y and so on, telling me I have like ten other things when all these ten things are all explained by autism?

All because drumroll I can hold eye contact. Yes, I've been pressured into masking hard. It makes me suffer, and now you use it to deny me support?

Most doctors have not kept up with the development on diagnosing atypical autism and the ones that do you have almost no chance of scoring an appointment with.

And I am in a coultry where we at least do consider autism for females. There's still lots of countries where high-functioning autists don't get diagnosed.

Let people "self-diagnose" if it means they findcoping mechanisms and things that explain thwir behaviors. Allow them to say "fuck you" when someone tells them they're not trying hard enough because they are just lazy, when in reality they are so overwhelmed they can barely function.

Don't actively make people miserable, because they for whatever reason do not have a formal diagnosis. I encourage most peoble to get one, but I also heard of places that use an official diagnosis against them. I think I read someone from the UK claiming they had custody of their kids challenged because of a diagnosis.

Let people find their coping mechanisms. Even if in the end they don't have autism, how does this affect you or me or any other autistic person?

That's the official version, but at least when I talk about some average dude it's way too long and artificial, I don't think the name Mustermann actually exists.

When I think of the most common name to use in casual conversation, I'd probably go for Müller (maybe Peter? Though the first name is probably heavily generation-dependent).

In older publication you may alse find references to "der deutsche Michel" (the german Michel, short for Michael) as a somewhat condescending reference to the average citizen who is very hesitant to adopt new concepts and tech and not always able or willing to understand complex concepts. Often used to remark that a product/idea will not have a chance on the market because "der deutsche Michel" doesn't see the pointor would never pick it up.

Haven't seen that in a while though, I guess Germans have become more open to new stuff :)

Social security. Strong protection against lay-offs. University without paying upfront - just because you don't care for it as someone who didn't grow up here, doesn't mean it's not a benefit for the majority. Healthcare at affordable prices. Public transport.

The thing is, you only see your own benefit. And I feel that's a very typical way of looking at life in the US. The state is not here to rob you, but to provide you with a structure to live in that you couldn't have in the same way on your own. Public transport may not be something you need, but what about the elderly? What about the people who can't drive for whatever reason?

What if you have an accident that renders you unable to work? It doesn't even need to be your fault. Someone might loose control over their car and you might get hit. People like that need strong social nets, and people who can work finance them. Elderly people need those. They are often sick (high health care costs) and not longer able to drive (public transport) and if their pension is not enough, the social security kicks in and supports them.

You personally may not be profiting from it right now, but there's a ton of security built into the system for everyone that gets financed by everyone according to their means.

This right here. I'll gladly take less pay in Europe than constantly having to worry about my health and whether or not that bit of pain you sometimes have in a weird area means a hospital bill you can't afford. And even if I loose my job, I know I will not starve, because of our social security system. It will not be fun, but I won't loose my house or worry about what to eat tomorrow just because I got unlucky and my company went under.