Royal_Bitch_Pudding

environmental damage is the answer here.

Have your DM introduce a storyline that starts off with interrograting drug dealers on roof tops.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't an implication

The OneDND version of EK has this at level 7 now as well

He is Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him!

Anus Tart, very nice

They sound like twats

Oh no, it's salt water!

There's more than 1 way to become a sorcerer

I imagine every now and again an ancient tome speaks to them only for them to roll their eyes and put it in a special chest their parents gave them.

Player 1's father is obviously the Warlord.

Player 2's father is also the Warlord. He killed the father in the same way Darth Vader killed Anakin Skywalker.

Player 3's mother sold their soul for the Warlord to fall in love with her.

Player 4's Father is the Warlord and Player 3's Mother. Except after they got together they settled down for a happily ever after.

This is exactly what I would do if I rolled god like stats