I know you're joking but if it's any consolation any padlocks you own can probably be opened by hitting them on the side.
But yeah as has been mentioned, timpson actively hire those that have been in prison and train them up. He's definitely rehabilitation focused rather than punishment focused, which is great to see.
There was a place near where I used to live that did a wicked ghost pepper curry, when I lived there I ate it at least once a week because it was fucking delicious.