King_Simp

joined 2 years ago
[–] King_Simp@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 12 hours ago

I like how this is technically almost correct [the German word Burgher being similar to the French Bourgeoisie]

 
[–] King_Simp@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Mm, good point. I have issues sitting still and relaxing so no, i haven't tried those yet. But I should, Ill see what I can do.

 

My therapy appointment isn't for another little while so I just wanna get this out now, and plus asking will be nice.

But anyway...this is a really hard thing to describe. It's not like autistic masking, I don't feel like I'm faking social interaction or anything like that.

It's also not a depersonalization issue, because, for the most part, I feel connected to my body...I think. Maybe...

But it's more like I have different personalities and demeanors that, at the time, feel real. So like when I'm out or at Uni I'm just a normal person who's boring and wears polo's and dress pants every day. Quiet and just trying to get through the day.

But then other times I feel like this little boy who just wants to share all of his interests and have all these cool gadgets and make his own little library and likes games and literature and is really blushy and shy whenever the concept of sex comes up and just always wants to see the best in people.

But then sometimes I feel like a jaded woman who wants everyone to go away, and who needs nothing except the clothes on her back, and thinks everyone is repulsive and going to hurt her.

And before anyone says anything, I'm not trying to say I have DID. I don't disassociate, I don't have the amnesia associated with it, and I don't say I'm not any of those at any one time.

But it's like, I feel like certain behaviors are associated with those "characters." Like I said, I feel like my standoffishness and anger is associated with the "woman" part of me, while the "boy" aspect of me actively hates that part and really likes people and wants to share things with them. And my "professional" aspect is sitting there trying to keep them from fighting each other so I can be normal.

I don't think any part of these is the "real" me really. Theres not anything here where I say "that's not me." But they're all "distinct." So while other people might say "oh, I like sharing things with people." Or "I don't like people," that is generally just one trait associated with themselves. Of course they can change or have conflicting feelings about things, but I feel like...idk, it feels like there are multiple people within me sometimes.

For instance, I was thinking of getting a statistics minor. And I think they were all in agreement about that. My professional self likes adding things to their resume, my boyish self likes learning, and my womanly self...honestly I don't know. She's not objecting at least.

Conversely, I finally shaved my body hair recently. At first everyone was in agreement for the most part. But then a family member laughed about it [not...at me...kinda. its complicated] and kinda just treated me like I was stupid or absurd, so now I feel like my "boyish" personality and my "womanly" personality are fighting about it. My "womanly" side says it's fine and I made the right decision. But my "boyish" side feels like we did make a mistake now, and is anxious over whether I look stupid or whether we should've kept it because even though I didn't want it, other people seemed to like it.

But also I'm not a psychologist so i have no clue if this is a normal thing to feel or not :p, and sorry for so much detail. I'll talk about it to a therapist, I just didn't want to be misunderstood because I know what it sounds like.

 

This is a "response" [not really] to this post here (https://lemmygrad.ml/post/9692469?scrolltocomments=true).

I actually related to that post a lot, but there's another part that I also wanted to discuss since I didn't see it discussed there [unless I'm blind and just didn't see it].

Honestly being into popular things can kinda be disappointing too, because while you can talk to a lot of people about it, not a lot of people will engage in it to the same degree you might. For instance, I liked Star Wars for a while. While I could definitely find a lot of people who also like star wars, only a fraction of them will want to discuss any deeper than "Darth Vader is so cool isn't he." Not saying it's bad to not be obsessed with something, but that a lot of interaction is inevitably going to be surface level, save for when you find the occasional likeminded person. With more Niche things [i.e, Disco Elysium], when you find someone else into it, you both know you're both into it, and can have at least a somewhat on depth conversation about it.

[–] King_Simp@lemmygrad.ml 24 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

No, this is the exact opposite. They haven't read enough theory. This is categorical ultra-leftism [edit: I meant left-communism, but theyre similar concepts] at best, straight social democracy at worst.

It's not that they "view the entire world through theory" and that's a bad thing, it's that they're just throwing a general trueism [class consciousness] at a problem to handwave it away because it feels bad to their "common morality." [That being the idea that "cultural boycotts" are bad because they are bad].

And no offense intended towards you, since I know you're getting started, but it is extremely important to view the world through a marxist lense and avoid moralism [not saying you can't oppose things on personal moral grounds, or that the genocide isn't horrific]. Here it did lead you to the correct analysis, that Palestinians must engage in a violent anti-colonial struggle and liberate themselves from the Israeli genocidal apartheid state. Additionally, actions like boycotts and such can be a way to help palestine by isolating Israel and Israelis.

However, without a Marxist analysis, you might come to incorrect conclusions. I.e, positions on the special military operation in Ukraine, the recent "gen z" protests, etc.

"[With the Marxist-Leninist attitude,] a person applies the theory and method of marxism-leninism to the systematic and thorough investigation and study of the environment. He does not work by enthusiasm alone but, as Stalin says, combines revolutionary sweep with practicalness" - Mao Zedong

[–] King_Simp@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 5 days ago

So true. It's like when I was trying to find someone to have a conversation with about Italo Calvino and his work, or hell actually Han Suyin too, since she's pretty obscure nowadays.

It doesn't help that I'm a STEM major in the most boring white guy part of STEM [basically Engineering that isnt comp sci] so everyone is just focussed on that and doesn't have time or care for literature and stuff, especially critical analysis [yes yes I know I'm trying to make some friends outside of that sphere]

[–] King_Simp@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 5 days ago

I was already going to do that, but thanks for letting me know you're interested

[–] King_Simp@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 1 week ago (3 children)

It's not done yet, but when it is ill send it to you

[–] King_Simp@lemmygrad.ml 17 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Not quite where I thought that was going, but I definitely get it. I've finally decided to write something on Yanis Varoufakis's so called "technofeudalism" because I'm so tired of seeing it, and being told about it by white guys with short beards who run youtube channels. Capitalism isn't dead, it's just more capitalism that you don't like

[–] King_Simp@lemmygrad.ml 26 points 1 week ago

I agree on most things, but I do think legalization is important. You might not call the cops on them, but its criminalization is a hanging sword of damocles that the state can use to increase surveillance/policing, keep people impoverished via criminal records, etc.

And while it probably couldn't be a "union" per se, and definitely shouldn't result in it being a permanent ficture of society, some form of support group that protects prostitutes from further abuse should be made. I always think back to when I read about a prostitute not being taken seriously by the cops after she was nearly killed by a serial killer.

 

Edit: note, I haven't smoked myself, so this is second hand info

Like seriously

Short term it

calms you

let's you focus

feels good

can be used fairly consistently while leaving you capable to do work

is minimally intensive to use, just requiring cigarettes and a lighter/match/fire of some sort

Compare that to alcohol or drugs and such. The only thing comparable is tea/coffee.

Long term it

gets you seriously addicted

Gives you over a dozen different cancers and other diseases

massacres your lungs

And so on, not to mention what it does to underage smokers.

And I get why it happens medically, and I'm not denying it [obviously]. But it's almost on par with those random creeks filled with brain eating amoebas. Like, if there is a god, why did they decide to design earth like that?

[–] King_Simp@lemmygrad.ml 15 points 1 week ago

Good news to wake up to tbh

6
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by King_Simp@lemmygrad.ml to c/genzedong@lemmygrad.ml
 

It's written by the same person who to my knowledge has the best biography on Jean-Paul Marat in English [I think there's a better one but its in French so :p]. Just wanted to see here if anyone else has read this and if I should check it out

Edit: Ugh Lemmy is being stupid so the image isnt posting. Here's the link instead; https://www.zinnedproject.org/materials/a-peoples-history-of-science

 

Yeah, reading a 650 page textbook larger than the textbooks I have to read for my actual degree. It's very interesting but it feels very crushing sometimes

 

In working on an article right now [won't say on what because that's not the focus], but I'm having to read and cite a lot of stuff for it. And it'd be so nice to just not have to. Just be able to go in front of a camera and be like "Stalin personally ate 5 million people" and get paid to do so. Or be like those guys who can barely read the communist manifesto [a 48 page pamphlet] but proudly announce they've debunked communism.

I mean...I wont...I'm too principled and honestly I would still have no motivation for it because I hate doing bullshit. But it would be easier if I didn't hate it...

 

Has anyone ever discussed how insane the bounty on Maduro is? Just a cash reward to kill/imprison the elected leader of a country you have no jurisdiction over? Imagine if Russia put a bounty out on Finland's PM and tried multiple times to kill/kidnap them. We'd probably be starting the mobilization already.

But if the US does it? Crickets

 

Hey, so I made the "I don't wanna live anymore" post a few days ago. A couple things

1.Thanks for deleting the post, mods. I really just shouldn't have posted it but I wasn't thinking clearly at the time. But also thanks for everyone giving there support, and also being empathetic. I kinda hate how a lot of places are either "noooo you have so much to much to live for" + corny sayings, or it's like "fuck off." So it's nice having people who understood what I was/am going through.

2.Just overall was not having a good week. I was wrecked by work and had a health scare with one of my pets. I also just hadn't been able to get a lot of stuff out and my family has never really been helpful. So that's why I lost it so badly, basically.

3.I detoxxed for a couple days and now I'm feeling better. I made a plan for a couple things related to both my physical and mental health, and I also ordered some girl clothes. I know I wont look good [im not going to go out with them on], but it'll be a start at least.

4.Im also going to start therapy. Someone eon reddit informed me of "pro-bono" services some places provide, so I'm going to try to take advantage of those [it was on the deprogram subreddit which was vaporized, so I cant credit them] along with what my university provides.

5.Also imma try to get back to work on my substack. Honestly just not sure what to write about. I basically just made it to talk about the Stackelberg thing so :p

[–] King_Simp@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It probably wont be starvation for most [hopefully?]. What it'll probably be is the racking up of debt, missed bills on electricity and other utilities, etc. to start at least. But there's only so much you can cut out while still having access to the outside world. I think we'll see people going homeless before they starve, though.

It really depends on how long the shutdown goes on for. There is a part of me that fears that we'll genuinely see a famine if this goes on too long, especially since food bank services are already strained.

And, although I find it extremely unlikely, if the ai bubble pops in the middle of this...

[–] King_Simp@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 2 weeks ago

Dawg you are fighting no one, you ain't surviving the Venezualan SAMs

 

This isnt to hero worship or anything, I just like learning.

Currently I'm going to check out Han Suyin's books on Mao Zedong [morning deluge/wind in the tower] and Zhou Enlai [Eldest Son] along with Clifford Conner's book on Marat [Its either called "Marat: Scientist and Revolutionary" or "Marat:Tribune of the Revolution"], but that made me curious if there are any other ones about other people like Marx, Lenin, etc. that you guys would reccomend. So if anyone has any reccomendations I would appreciate them. Doesn't have to be anyone super important but I am looking for something on Marx specifically if anyone has any.

 

Idk how it took me this long, but I just learned about the Apollo 1 disaster. I don't know the causes [I dont want to assume off the cuff] just yet, but considering I didn't even know anyone died during this period, as someone who has read and watched a lot of content about the space program and such, I honestly just feel baffled how anyone believed that the soviets were the "progress at all costs, even innocent lives" people.

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