No, my father always had been the same

Nothing really.

Then what's the fucking point? Being denied plus feeling even worse than before? I don't see how that helps

Yeah

Wrong. Being denied is worse, it breaks you down

"Shit, that white house is lit fr tho" - Georgie Washington

Do you think they would have got together if they weren't physically attracted to each other? Cmon.

I've never approached a woman. Is terrifying and not worth the humiliation.

Already doing that

I dunno. But I can't force myself to become something I don't wanna be. What's worse being a shut in or being miserable outside faking a smile when you're suffering and cringing thinking "why I'm here?"

I went out to the park, movies, arcades alone for years. I'm done, if the world hates me this much then there's nothing I can do about it.