293
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by tattletaletimes@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social

In a scene not too uncommon in today’s world, local dad Alan Devlin reassured his high school son, Keith, with an enthusiastic “You got this!” to cover for having absolutely no idea how to help him with his Algebra homework.

Keith, a sophomore at Quadratic High, initially welcomed his dad’s encouragement. “At first, I thought he was just trying to boost my confidence,” Keith said. "But then I realized he had absolutely no clue what he was talking about when he started using phrases like “x equals whatever you want it to be” and “Try dividing by zero.”

Read the rest of the satire news article here on TattletaleTimes.com

top 21 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 27 points 4 months ago
[-] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 23 points 4 months ago

I just need a little help with this problem from thermal dynamics

[-] mom@nom.mom 27 points 4 months ago

Don't worry! You got this!

[-] OpenStars@startrek.website 11 points 4 months ago

"Thanks mom":-D

[-] tattletaletimes@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

It's time you give this one a try on your own!

[-] CrayonMaster@midwest.social 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

"Why dont yiu talk me through what you've done so far'

[-] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 15 points 4 months ago

I remember when I was younger my parents would help me out with some of my algebra stuff but once I got to trig and higher I was like "damn, they can't help me out with this anymore"

[-] noxy@yiffit.net 12 points 4 months ago

Homework is idiotic. If it can't be covered during regular school hours, it shouldn't be required.

I'm really happy to have recently learned that some schools are just entirely doing away with it.

[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 months ago

I had a college teacher that did homework right. It was a math class. You know how some math textbooks have the answers to the odd number problems in the back of the book? She would "assign" those as homework, and every morning at the beginning of class she would ask if anyone had any questions on the homework. "Yeah could we work number 15 on the board?"

She never took up "homework" for a grade, it was our opportunity to practice on our own time. This was optional, if you were keeping up you weren't required to waste your time.

I'm also 100% fine with reading assignments for homework. "Read chapter 7 of the textbook before our next class." As a flight instructor I NEVER had trouble getting students to read their textbooks. There was a bit of an eyes glazing over issue with the FARs because a lot of it is written, well, like federal laws. So we'd start going over Part 91 in class, we'd get about a page in before we hit the rule about jettisoning objects from an aircraft in flight, have about 5 minutes of fun talking about when and where you can just randomly chuck a brick out of the window, and from then on I could trust their ability to read the FARs.

[-] Canadian_Cabinet@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 months ago

Oh man I wish I had you as an instructor. FAR/AIM was such a boring part of my training

[-] Deebster@programming.dev 2 points 4 months ago

When Khan Academy was a big thing, there was talk of flipping teaching - having the homework be watching instructional videos (when you can pause, rewind and rewatch without embarrassment) and doing homework in school hours. It sounded quite good (at least for motivated kids (wasn't me)), but I guess it died on the vine.

[-] nick@midwest.social 9 points 4 months ago

this hits home. Common core makes no sense to me…. But regular math doesn’t really either.

[-] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 8 points 4 months ago

Where is the satire lol this is just reality

But I do hope it makes some dads feel seen

[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 months ago

Slow ridiculousness day apparently.

[-] stevedidwhat_infosec@infosec.pub 8 points 4 months ago

Satirizing supportive fathers, despite whatever their personal skill levels are… hmm

[-] Notthemama@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Man, it's a joke. Lighten up!

[-] stevedidwhat_infosec@infosec.pub -1 points 4 months ago

A joke about supportive fathers which are far from common these days…

You’re allowed to joke about and laugh at whatever you want, just expressing my feelings too

[-] Notthemama@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago
[-] kogasa@programming.dev 4 points 4 months ago

Should be a lot easier for modern parents who can easily use online resources to learn

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 2 points 4 months ago

*assures

with peace and love

[-] tattletaletimes@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

damn! thanks i'll update the article!

this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2024
293 points (97.7% liked)

The Onion

4413 readers
648 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS