There are a couple things in your post that gives me pause. It sounds like you’re having a pretty tough time with how you feel about yourself. You say you recognize that it’s probably good to have the sobering effects but are still seeking use without that constraint.
Like mentioned by someone else, it may be a good idea to look at what the trip is telling you.
You might consider that working on why it is you feel that way could be the best way to remove it from your experience.
I think it’s entirely likely to become more introspective about your behavior on a trip. You might consider what “egotistical” even means and if the traits you see in yourself are worth changing. Thinking of one’s self positively is not inherently wrong.