before tomorrow morning?

DoD contractor: Sure can, but it will cost you huge.

(Lies about the former, 100% accurate on the latter.)

Management trying to look useful

My "scrum leader" (who we handled agile just fine without before) is constantly complaining about points or priorities shifting, to the point that he'll tell us to not put what we're actually working on on the board because it'll mess up the burndown chart.

One of the 4 values of agile is "responding to change over following a plan". He's parroted this to us before, and yet still doesn't seem to see the irony.

Agile was about reducing the power of micro-managers. They would have understood that if they could read.

Giving bombs to Israel without condition is a.... 6 point story I think

This will ultimately lead to world peace as every army is in meetings all day.

Let's make a meeting to schedule a workshop about useless meetings then. That'll fix all issues. Oh and we need a meeting to communicate the findings. And a retro.

Do we need some tickets for that? I'll schedule a planning.

And some emergency meetings to talk about our low velocity.

Edit: and that isn't too far off of our "agile" work 😭