I think my problem with wesley is that he got such a preferential seat on the bridge of a massive ship that probably countless other people had worked their whole careers to get on. It feels unfair to all those people to put a kid on the bridge instead of an adult in the middle of their career.
Wesley as a character is fine! I know Whil Wheaton had a weird interaction with the fediverse and in my hazy memory of it I don't really blame people's reactions, but in his ready room show for star trek he honestly has been great. He seems like he really loves star trek.
The one thing is, "shut up wesley!" became an internet meme, and understandably I don't think Wheaton finds that meme that funny after a couple of decades of hearing it. When the kneejerk reaction fans greet you with is to tell your character to shut up... when your character wasn't a villain... but just kind of an awkward kid who really was never characterized as anything other than someone who just wanted people to like him... it just feels like punching down for no reason.