this post was submitted on 16 Jan 2024
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Greentext

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[–] aport@programming.dev 58 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Bro waited too long. Tinder ain't for penpals.

[–] scarilog@lemmy.world 53 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Tbf it's been one day and OP thinks they got ghosted, when in reality there might be tons of different reasons why he hasn't got a reply yet

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, but just before new years? They were wanting new years plans, and they probably made some.

[–] onion@feddit.de 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How about saying what you want then?

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Women think men hate women taking the lead because a lot of men hate women taking the lead.

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Those men are terrible, and ruin things for the rest of us.

My now-wife sent the first message, and I'm so glad she did. It was super rare even close to a decade ago.

[–] Sentau@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why though¿? I understand preferring to take the lead but why do men actually hate it when women take the lead¿?

The same reason cave men didn't try to eat the gazelle that was lying right next to their cave for 2 days. All the ones who did eat it, died. When things feel too easy, it sets off alarms that suggest it might not be as good as it seems. Men don't actually hate it, it just tends to set off their inborn defenses. If you want to take the lead on a man, try to show him that he's done something to earn your affection. Probably most applicable to strangers.

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

Including whatever it was he said just before she stopped replying.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 1 year ago

"Hey, haven't heard back in a bit, everything okay?"

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Not sure why the downvotes, this is a likely scenario. Back when I was bothering with the app, I realized this quickly. There seems to be a line if at which point you're still gabbing but not meeting up, either party is likely to move on.

[–] GluWu@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago

Good thing I'm too depressed to have used dating apps. I'd probably be sitting here thinking about times that happened to me. But I know better, nothing can happen, even bad things, if I'm isolated enough.

[–] Tetra@kbin.social 47 points 1 year ago

That's when it hurts the most. When you feel like things are working out great, when you pour your heart and soul into it, and they suddenly lose interest, and you're not even granted an explanation as to why or what you might've done or said wrong, if anything. Just left feeling like you're simply not a lovable enough person, and never will be.

[–] doylio@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm convinced that dating apps are no longer a good way to find a relationship. They've realized that if their users get into LTRs it will hurt their revenue.

I used to be an avid user of most dating apps, but I've had a much more fulfilling love life since quitting them to focus on meeting people IRL

[–] Igloojoe@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago

Also, most are owned by match.com and they just shit up all the sites trying to penny push the users.

[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Alto@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I can't get enough

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Is French bread

[–] ggwithgg@feddit.nl 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Makes rythm, makes rythm, makes rythm

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Haven't used the apps in years. But never really thought of them as a conversation tool.

I only used them for meeting, quick chat, and then setting up a date.

[–] magnetosphere@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

I agree that he waited too long, but simply ghosting on someone in a situation like this is a cruel, shitty thing to do.