pretty great! had my first agility lesson of the new year with the pups, and they rocked it. got a crate for the incoming foster dog (her name is coco, pics next week). got together with some bike/camp folks and planned our next campout and longer day ride. got to see the fellowship of the ring (extended edition) at the theater. played a first session of a tabletop game called wickedness.

i need to stop being so busy, but at least it’s good busy. 😮‍💨

I am new here so I have stuff to share, but my big thing right now is...I have had a lot of unexplained chest pain for a long time, and I have a cardiologist that actually has an explanation and her treatment seems to be working, also it seems to be going a long way to helping my depression in a bonus win.

We're suppose to have our first big snow storm of the season, starting today. 4-6 inches (~10-15cm) or more. Currently only like an inch of snow. That said, as is often said in the Midwest: "It's really coming down out there."

More importantly, I told my boss, the CEO, about my job offer. I've had this job offer on the table for like the last 7mo, but the processing has taken forever (it's a government job). On Friday, he sent me an email that he's promoting me to a director (which was surprising to say the least). So I felt that I had to finally tell him. I didn't want for him to announce to everyone he's promoting me, only for me to be like "Yeah thanks bossman...I'm out. Cya!" I feel like that might humiliate him. Should I care? Maybe not. But he's been a good boss to me. I feel like I owe it to him to not put him in that position. I've worked for him for like 7yrs total and he's treated me well.

Obviously he's less than enthused, but he gets it. I've been trying to get to a government job for awhile and to move out of here and he knows this. This isn't my official notice; there's a chance that something happens and I lose the job offer. But at least he knows what's going on. He can figure out if he wants to put the promotion on pause or what.

There's a 50/50 chance I just got myself fired for standing up for myself at work, I'll find out on Tuesday when I go back in, I guess; it really doesn't matter to me anymore, I wasn't happy there, just stressed. If I'm not, then that's cool.

This is definitely the most euphoric I've felt in years, I think I'm going to celebrate with a trip to the beach and maybe look for some spots to skate. I think I'll start self advocating for myself more, too. I like this feeling.

I don't think my brain likes me much these days.

Admittedly, it used to like me a lot less, but for some reason I'm feeling a lot of shit that I haven't felt in a very long time.

It doesn't help that I have less physical and mental energy to deal with it than I used to, but I suppose the benefit of that is that I can't really muster up much of a reaction beyond "just... go fuck yourself" (to my negative emotions, not to any actual people).

Also, lol. Found out about a month ago that my psychiatrist just kind of fucked off, got married, left the country, sold her practice, and decided to tell literally none of her patients. Not even a simple email. "Irresponsible and dangerous" is an absolute understatement. I'm just lucky I had no particular attachment to her.

Although, apparently she told some colleagues like the day or week before, which is... something?

I didn't like her much, but she gave me my candy and now I have to find a new Willy Wonka.

Not many super choices, but maybe I'll find a decent confectioner. Have recs from my therapist (who's probably the most understanding person I've ever met and fucking fantastic at her job because of it), but might just take a look at this psych who took over the practice out of curiosity and just for funsies.

So, earlier than expected appointments I'm guessing it'll be for me. Yay. (Actually, I don't mind the earlier appointment with therapist, but psychiatrists are a different beast for me.)

I've had a weird feeling all week and then I realized it felt like stability and security and that I haven't felt that since 2015.

This is week 2 of being back at work and it's nice to have some things I'm working on but also nice to not really have a lot on my plate and not expect a lot to be dropped on my plate anytime soon as everyone's just starting to emerge from their winter vacations.

I had a nice date the other night with another very non-binary person and there's something really special and nice about dating people who have so thoroughly rejected the gender binary. It's a special kind of trans in my heart, and I always find people like this so darn fascinating in terms of how they want the world to perceive them. Seems to have gone well, but they also seem to be very anti dating?? so I guess I'm lucky I made the cut? I have no idea where this is going, but they live nearby which is a plus

As an aside I'm so tired of dating apps and dating in general. People either have impossibly high standards or something about me just doesn't vibe with most people and like, I get it, but why does it have to be so exhausting? I just want to curl up in someone's lap and have them run their fingers thru my hair 😩

Just like every other week of my life, it was mostly good and I had a lot of fun, but just one bad thing happened and that's all I clearly remember now.

This week I played games with my wife, we both made new friends, which we've been hoping for for a long time, went to an in game event and laughed our asses off about how crazy that got. It was really fun.

But then I got sick, severely injured my pinky toe and can't walk, and had a minor argument with my wife because I woke her up to ask what to do about it, even though I knew what to do already and my anxiety just made me not trust myself.

I really hope the good parts are the parts that stick in my head, but that's not usually how it goes with me.

oh, i guess i have two partners now and i forgot to mention that

I have the big sad.

We're freezing over here in Britannia 🥶

I'm neutral, thanks for asking. Struggling between a heavy workload and leaping over my last university hurdle. The start of a new year is always a challenge, but one step at a time.

More immediately no one sick, hurt, dying, or dead. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

I just purchased my first car today. I've never needed a car before because paying for Uber was cheaper, but now with my new job, transportation costs will be lower with a car.

I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I've heard about the stress that comes with driving, but never experienced it with a brand new car that I just purchased.

I'm also trying to find a good name for the car, but it should come to me in due time. Overall, I think it's worth it and that I'll hopefully feel less stressed the more I drive.

Looking at the replies on that open ai thread, and how many of people are just going on rooting for ai companies just taking other people's work without their consent, is alarming, also probably signals that this community might not be for me.

Thank you for everything, and sadly I think I might leave beehaw altogether.

(cue snarky replies, like bye don't care, etc)

It's been weirdly windy by me as well, normally the nights are pretty still even if it's raining but the last couple nights have been pushing me around!

It was ridiculously windy here today too! Getting back into the swing of things at work after some time off and trying to remind myself that I can only do so much at a time and the rest will have to wait.

@alyaza windy here too. And snowy, and cold...

Just a few days ago you could tell it was spring!

... how is the week going. Well, beyond words.

University spring term started again this week, and after being loaded down with three more assignments (including another group project), we also got the grades for one of last term's assignments. I am very, very pleased with mine - 81%, which probably only really means something to those familiar with UK degree-level grading, but I'm really proud of it (while simultaneously being mildly annoyed I couldn't do better). Last term's group project grades will be given next week (though we do know that everyone passed, which is 40% or higher), and I'm expecting that one to be quite a bit lower. I'd like something above 70%, but that feels a bit optimistic given what a disaster the project was.

I've mentioned on a number of occasions the guy who was on my team project whose combination of arrogance and laziness made him more of a hindrance than a help throughout the entire project. I had a bit of a blow up at him just before Christmas, the culmination of his obstructiveness, his chronic (but not terminal) verbal diarrhoea, and utter lack of ability to accept that no means no. ("Do not touch my laptop" is pretty explicit, and should not prompt an argument about how it's fine because he knows how to handle laptops.) Anyway, the outcome of this is that he's spent the whole week sulking in the corner of the room, not talking to anyone. He also ragequit the class Discord server over Christmas, and nobody even noticed he was gone until today when we were getting set up for the new group project. That's how much everybody likes him. I feel a little bad because I don't like it when someone feels like they're not welcome... even when they're genuinely not welcome because they're a dick.

I am tired. Very tired. That is all. -Update I slept for 10 hours, like a log. My body was really telling to tell me I needed some rest.

I've got either a strong flu, or light COVID, which I seem to have caught somewhere along my visit to get some test at the hospital earlier in the week, coincidentally the day before masking became obligatory. I hate people without masks. 🤬