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I'm sorry for your loss.
I lost my dad 22 years ago October 29th and his funeral was 22 years today. I know well the loneliness and the emptiness you're feeling. There are days, like today, over 20 years later, when that loneliness feel reopened and fresh. But most days now, I can remember the good without feeling the void.
Grief is a ball bouncing around in a box.
Every time it hits the wall of the box is when you feel it the most. At first, the ball barely fits inside, hitting the wall almost every moment of every day, but over time the ball starts to shrink - hitting the sides less and less frequently, but it's still inside.
Eventually, the ball will only hit the sides a few times a year, maybe less - but the ball never goes away.
This is an incredible description. Thanks for sharing this.
OP my condolences for your loss, and everyone's experience is different but from my own experience you have gone through probably one of the hardest moments. I know it doesn't help now, but I promise you it does get easier. Would you like to share a good memory of your dad with us?
That’s a great analogy.
I think of it as a forest fire. It burns and ravages the land, then there are ashes and smoke. And slowly, nature heals but it’s never the same. There might even be some trees planted in the memory of what was that before, or some ruins. They are repurposed memories, memories you did something with and are now growing into something new. It could be something to remember them by, something done in their memory.
officially lost mine 8 september! but the dementia had him over the course of some years.
i hurt for you!
I’m sorry to hear that happened. It’s not much, but when my own father passed away, I came across this post that helped me process what I was feeling. I hope it helps you too: https://lemmy.world/post/22499928/13677504
Sorry to hear. I lost my dad a few years ago and it's weird to say that it gets easier, because in some ways it really doesn't, but you do get used to the feeling and in time, if you're like me, you'll even end up telling some pretty morbid jokes that might've made your dad laugh.
I hope things improve for you and that you can find some light in an otherwise pretty shit world.
People leaving us in any manner is always shitty in my experience. You're brave for posting though! You're gonna feel awful for some time, but time will heal the upper layers at least, so that you can function. Was he a good guy? Who was he to you?
Hugs🩷
He wasn't the best dad, but still I liked him. He had quite some rough last years, lost his leg, cigarette addiction gave him a hard time breathing... Still, I don't have many friends and half of my family is completely horrible. He was one of the good guys and I just feel so.. empty right now.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
I lost my dad a few years ago. I catch myself making the same dumb dad jokes that he used to make. It makes me miss him, but it also makes me smile. Hang onto those good thoughts.
A couple of years ago my cousin, who also was my best friend since childhood, died suddenly.
People always talk about how you end accepting the loss and moving on, but when it's someone who was there all your life, that void they leave will always be there, you learn to live with it.
Sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss!