this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2026
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

RULES:

  1. Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
  2. Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
  3. You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
  4. Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
  5. Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If an image is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
  6. Absolutely no NSFL content.
  7. Be nice. Don't take anything personally. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements & arguments to private messages.
  8. No advertising, brand promotion, or guerrilla marketing.

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[–] DigDoug@lemmy.world 104 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"Fighting for custody of his organs" is an incredible turn of phrase. That Ronaldo guy should be a poet or writer.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A lot of my friends have very creative idioms and the like. I have a ravenous appetite for things like this

[–] m__a__b@lemmy.ca 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A friend of mine has described an unpleasant bathroom experience as "birthing a hooved animal". Makes me laugh every time I hear it.

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[–] inari@piefed.zip 65 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Eat some fiber once in a while, folks

[–] skooma_king@piefed.social 23 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Yeah, like some good old tainted lettuce, ya dinguses

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I thought this was slang for weed for a hot minute

[–] 5765313496@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The devil's tainted lettuce!!

[–] KSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz 4 points 3 weeks ago

The devil's taint

[–] DakRalter@thelemmy.club 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Are there tariffs on British lettuces?

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[–] darthelmet@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Idk what it is, but I think I get plenty of fiber in my diet but I still regularly have problems with this. My doc told me drinking water with the fiber is important, but I’m pretty sure I’m already drinking lots of water too. So… idk, if it gets bad enough maybe I’ll go look into it some more.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 15 points 3 weeks ago

Could be your gut microbiome. Try eating more fermented foods and probiotics. Yogurt, kombucha, things like that.

Also, be aware of the difference between soluble and insoluble fiber. Pay attention to which one you're getting the most of and see if getting more of the other one helps.

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Getting regular physical activity? Even just taking a walk helps by applying mechanical forces...

[–] Echolynx@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This is a big one for me cause I'm often sedentary due to work. I've noticed a nice long walk helps.

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[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

Then just how the hell am I supposed to wind down at the end of the day?

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[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

You can eat fiber and meat lmao

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[–] Johnnyvibrant@discuss.tchncs.de 32 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Just his shirt, i strip naked

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 28 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I do that in public urinals.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

You must have small feet

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

It's how you came into this world, might as well go out the same way

[–] CorrectAlias@piefed.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago

just ibs things

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 4 points 3 weeks ago

Sometimes I just need that extra ankular distance to open up the passageways a little more

[–] SteveLeo@piefed.social 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I’d be more concerned if he took a portion of his shirt off

[–] ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I had a teacher who would occasionally wear only one sleeve of a sweater. He claimed it was too hot with the whole thing on. Looked weird.

[–] GreyEyedGhost@piefed.ca 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Here you are with a teacher trying to show kids we don't all have to fit in the same mold, and you call it weird. smh

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[–] yonderbarn@lazysoci.al 19 points 3 weeks ago

Break out the poop knife as well

[–] thenextguy@sh.itjust.works 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fightin, Lovin, Poopin is the Journey song we needed but never got.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Now it's your turn boy to cryy!

Nahhh nahh n-nahhh nahh nah

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

fighting for me life in here

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Godspeed.

Sidebar, I love your username. I noticed it when I first joined.

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[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 13 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

You MFers need some fiber in your diet. Otherwise you are gonna end up with a brain aneurysm from pressing so much.

[–] prex@aussie.zone 12 points 3 weeks ago

Could be the opposite. I like to think he was hoping to achieve lift-off.

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[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh shit, something has awakened.

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[–] rbos@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

some of y'all need to eat some g-d vegetables

[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Beans

Also, bidet.

[–] sartalon@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

If I think it's going to be a journey and I'm not in a situation where I don't care what my shirt looks like (like doing chores on the weekend) but a nice shirt I don't want to wrinkle more than I need to... shirt's coming off.

Sometimes you just need more skin touching air, sometimes it's the sweat making tattle tale creases.

Sometimes just need to feel free

[–] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 weeks ago
[–] scytale@piefed.zip 5 points 3 weeks ago

I first read that as “took his entire shift off” and thought yeah that’s not normal. Way worse than just taking your shirt off.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 5 points 3 weeks ago (16 children)

How does she know about that, though - are they the kind of couple who don't lock the bathroom when they're going about their business?

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[–] workerONE@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

Maybe he was hot

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