No Stupid Questions

Blocks are invitations to become a hacker. Teach your kids to trust you and they'll talk to you about anything they see.

Somehow I lucked out. Following my lead, my kids refused to get social media accounts.

I taught them from a young age to value their privacy and showed them what I could find out about virtually anyone who had an online presence. Then I showed them what showed up about me, and challenged them to find out more. Then I pointed out that I could do the same thing with their identity whenever I wanted.

I’ve always ensured they have totally unfiltered access to the Internet and an open door to my office. Being their only reliable Internet safety net has it’s advantages.

TL;DR: my kids know that there’s nothing in place protecting them from the Internet. So they act appropriately, just like when using knives and burners in the kitchen.

Be a parent, and be present when they are using it. You don't have to watch constantly, but at least be nearby. Teach them basic digital safety, literacy, and privacy skills.

You cant control all the devices they have access to, so you have to give them to knowledge and tools to be safe.

Social guard rails over software.

My setup has basic protections to stop them stumbling into things they shouldn't be looking at. It's intended as a bumper, not a barrier. I know I won't be able to make it impenetrable without also making it almost unusable. Even then, that doesn't solve things, if they are around a friend's etc.

Instead, I talk through things with them, in an age appropriate manner. If you can get a continuous conversation going then you don't need to lock things down hard. It might get awkward and embarrassing for you, but it's far more effective in the long run.

This might also be of interest to you. https://media.ccc.de/v/emf2026-159-1-mum-can-i-play-roblox-navigating-online-gaming-safety

As a lot of people here are saying, education is alpha omega. However, what makes or breaks this education (whether they end up starting to "test" this education), is how you present it:

Saying casually "You're not allowed to go to these websites because I say so." is like inviting them to explore anyways, and try and find out for themselves whether it's as bad as you say or not (because their classmates have gone to these sites after all, and they're fine).

Instead, make sure to tell them why you're doing it is because you yourself don't even go there, because of X serious reason. Be it big tech spying on and manipulating you, risks of implication in illegal activities, getting scammed, or psychological trauma of seeing too much. Perhaps refer them to a documentary that explains your point, so that you're not the sole source of trust.

The internet is a dangerous place, and that should be communicated from a person who genuinely thinks so themselves (the parent).

This is not to say that the internet can also be useful, but only if used correctly. As for guardrails that can prevent accidentally ending up in the wrong place can indeed be as others mention here, family mode, blocklist, safe DNS, etc.. It's not there to restrict them, but to safeguard them (and you).

Make sure you're also a safe person to talk to about taboo topics. Things like sex, porn, suicide, hacking, gore, drugs, war crimes, school shootings, and various illegal activities should all be safe for them to seek you out as the first point of contact. NOT the internet!

The best monitoring tool I can recommend for a child is for them to feel safe in self-reporting.

Talk to them about death, gore, and sex.

Explain to them that these things are not appropriate and could negatively affect their mental health.

Then explain that you respect their privacy, their autonomy, and you trust them.

Perhaps also teach them about TAILS and Tor Browser so they know how to use the internet safely (because the ISP can see what websites they visit). Harm reduction education is important.

Don't censor. Talk to your child.

Install a mandatory VPN to your home, then at home setup a gateway to control everything.

Ensure you install a custom certificate from the gateway in the root certificate vault so you can do dpi even in the encrypted transmissions

Filtering is important but logging is even more important. Don't forget that

Set it up im the living room. Make sure the kid knows that you can see what they do.

Parent.

Change DNS to a content blocking one

Malware and Adult Content

Primary DNS: 1.1.1.3

Secondary DNS: 1.0.0.3

Or IPV6

Malware and Adult Content

Primary DNS: 2606:4700:4700::1113

Secondary DNS: 2606:4700:4700::1003

I disagree that pihole can't be used in the instance of a laptop since you can still use it as a dns remotely, but an opendns account was effectively made for this purpose.

Use commonly available white lists and blacklists for kids only content.

Pihole also has built in monitoring for dns requests. I've never paid for opendns but it does too.

Arris routers allow smtp data logs to also show direct IP interactions. I imagine lots of routers do. Using solarwinds software demos you can easily parse through them. You cannot control these requests non-locally, but I'd ask what you're trying to look for if these requests are consistently made out of the house and are limited to IP only requests without dns. An app you don't want them using? In that case reroute the apps known IPs to 127.0.0.1 locally and remove admin rights from the user. This will also lock them to opendns.

Set rules for yourself about what constitutes a problem ahead of time. Snooping can lead to the bending of rules in search of something that's not there. Internet traffic is rife with advertisers sideloading all sorts of dubious shit. The context of other IPs or hostnames connected to before and after is important when looking at log data.

Edit: Easiest way around this is to install a USB nic. A domain and GPO is how corporations prevent this scenario with minimal user impact.

If you are going the Windows route Microsofts family settings can create a child account that is locked down and has usage time limits and a bed time that will lock the PC.

It isn't perfect but does give you some insight into what they are using he PC for.

Google do something similar for Android devices + Chrome/Google search.

OpenDNS has a family friendly DNS that is filtered and free to add another layer to any device.

As others have said anything you do will only slow them down. It's like swearing, you can ban them doing it around you but they'll still do it at school with their friends. Sometimes they'll slip up and use a word at the wrong time and you will have to remind them what is appropriate but as a parent it's what you are there for, helping them form a decent set of guidelines on what and when things are appropriate.

Treat the laptop as a desktop and put it in a public space (ie: the livingroom). Meaning gets an external monitor, keyboard or some other reason that it becomes a stationary PC.

Then an adblocker or pihole will be fine. Then have a discussion with your kids, that there are some very ugly places (use death/gore/animals being hurt, etc) that are not suitable people their age (or even your age)... and this computer tried to monitor and block it.

This won't stop curious kids from being curious, but they will understand why the guardrails exist... and having it in a public space will avoid leaving them alone in their personal space with the untethered internet at their finger tips.

I'd personally implement a whitelist, but it depends on the age.

Depending on how computer literate and scared of you they are, you could just lie?

My dad told me that he got his IT friend to rig my first PC so everytime i opened something it sent him a notification and he could see what i was doing at anytime. That scared me straight for longer than I want to admit

Saw a video about this. The dad used a Linux version, set up a separate user account, and removed the task bar only 4 approved desktop icons available - the 4 edu games he wanted them to play. Keyboard shortcut to bring up the super menu was the only way he could change settings or etc.

Some quick solutions would be:
Use cloudflare's 1.1.1.3 and 1.0.0.3 DNS. At least this works on the device as long as they don't change the DNS on the device themselves.
https://developers.cloudflare.com/1.1.1.1/setup/#1111-for-families
Parental control settings on your router.

I got the impression that most of the local childproofing solutions are router-based, not something you install on the device itself.

Since it's a laptop, I would set up something like NextDNS (what I often use, but you can also use Cloudflare, ControlD, etc.) in order to block advertisements and unwanted content. Ideally use a Firefox-based browser as then you can use uBlock Origin (+ they are often less memory intensive!) to block additional stuff. Others have already suggested supervision and setting a different user account with fewer privileges. I would highly encourage using a solid Linux distro, as those break less often (especially when the kid becomes / is older and starts going to sketchier websites), and in the modern era they tend to work better too, particularly on older hardware! KDE Plasma and GNOME are both solid desktops available in a variety of distros, or you could go with the reliable Mint w/ Cinnamon.

It could be worth setting up a pihole, you can have it double as your DNS server as well as adblocker and set its blocking lists by device so your personal ones are unfiltered. I use mine to block my fathers device from scam sites and ads.

Well first of all, I'd make the OS require the date of birth of the user.