this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2026
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Showcasing the brazen and nouveau in English communication.

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[–] mrsemi@lemmy.world 48 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Imagining a fantasy setting where elves, dwarves, orcs and whatnot are just continually baffled by humans eating the most vile toxic things.

Salsa? You mean a mix of a hemolytic poison (onions), a cardiotoxin (tomatoes), and a nerve agent (chili peppers)? Eaten with corn chips dusted with a lethal amount of salt, and washed down with a cup full of neurotoxin (iced tea)?

Stay the fuck away from me because clearly you are the vile spawn of some incomprehensible eldritch god

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The best settings are where everyone is morbidly fascinated by each other.

Humans are effectively viewed as stereotypical frenchmen, constantly smoking and drinking and eating violently stinky food.
Dwarves think asbestos has a wonderful crunchy texture that goes great with a tall glass of mercury.
Elves cannot comprehend why you wouldn't simply drink raw magic like a civilized person (you gotta try some Yith'Illian merlinot, they age it for two hundred years in silverwood caskets which gives it a gorgeous silky texture).
Orcs consider most human food to be ultraprocessed slop for babies, but have become borderline addicted to our hard candy and have formed a deep friendship with dwarves over sharing bones to gnaw on.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

In D&D dwarves have resistance to poison damage and advantage on saving throws against poison, so they would be the ones with food no one else could eat safely.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

To everyone else, dwarf food seems bland. Since the dwarf cooking it couldn't add any of there normal spices. "Can humans eat rocks? I don't think so, better skip them." (Then skips the salt)

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Fun fact; you shouldn't swallow pebbles. You can digest them, but they are rich in toxic minerals, to the point that your kidney gets overwhelmed.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

I’m so glad I learned that I could digest rocks as an adult. I don’t think the second part of that warning would have been enough to deter me as a kid.

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[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

When the dwarves invite you over for dinner, steer clear of the mushroom stew.

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[–] ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

HumanityFuckYeah is a genre that is basically this, although it's most often in a scifi setting.

Usually depicting humans reaching the wider universe and baffling/overcoming large more advanced galactic empires due to Earth effectively being a death world where everything is trying to kill us.

[–] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Earth effectively being a death world where everything is trying to kill us.

I'd be chill with that, but my experience with r/HFY was mostly humans being more amazing than aliens in every way for no apparent good reason. Just so weird.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 days ago

idk about weird, most fiction is at least somewhat based in power fantasy, especially in times like these where basically everyone feels fucking miserable and helpless.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Tbf dwarven religions are like "my ancestors carved these rules with their hands to guide us forward" and elven religions are like "my ancestors got intimate with a fae, starting our race. Also their firstborn is still alive."

Meanwhile human religions are like "here is a horse that's made out of all living beings, with a woman's face too. Mortals who mount it can go to heaven for 5 seconds."

Al-Buraq painting from wikipedia. It shows an elephant's torso, feet made out of bird heads, and tail an eastern dragon. There is also rabbits and lions and so on scattered around. The painting has a sense of movement like the animals are constanly squirming and biting each other etc in a loop

Mythology Reference.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 days ago

let's not forget that a lot of human religion is also just "thank u sun for making us not freeze to death, very cool. You too, water: big fan of watering my crops."

Which is probably my favourite HFY concept: humans being ludicrously diverse while everyone else has like maybe 5 different cultures.
Even better there's one non-human species that's also super diverse and we both go

[–] DrBob@lemmy.ca 24 points 2 weeks ago
[–] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Anything is poison in a high enough quantity.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

My masturbation has become poison?!?

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 days ago

friction burns

[–] mrsemi@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

No no no, masturbation is how you get the poison out.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

Phew! That's a load off...

[–] AngryRedHerring@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Seriously. Our bodies are more than half poison, by OP's metric

https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna16614865

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[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 22 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (17 children)

We're not fast and don't have a lot of natural weaponry

We are pretty fast compared to a lot of animals, especially when it comes to speed over any significant distance. Only a few other animals (like wolves and horses) can beat us in a long-distance race. And we're especially good at maintaining speed over distance in high temperatures -- as the temperature rises, our advantage there increases.

And having two hands to grab and grapple with (as opposed to only a mouth) is also a pretty rare and special skill in the animal kingdom. Maybe not the most impressive 'natural weaponry', but still quite useful and something to be feared by other animals. Then there's our sheer size -- we're certainly not the biggest ever, but in the grand scheme of things, we're definitely on the larger end of the spectrum, which gives us an advantage over most animals out there.

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[–] Glowstick@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

This isn't exclusive to humans. Tons of animals actively seek out and consume mind altering substances that are generally poisonous. Elephants eat rotting fermenting apples to get drunk, monkeys steal alcoholic drinks from beach resorts, cats inhale cat nip, big cats like lions like to eat psychedelic mushrooms, and dolphins prick themselves with puffer fish poison spines

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Elephants eat rotting fermenting apples to get drunk

That was a hoax by some nature documentary channel back then.

...but there is a critter specialized in digesting high amounts of alcohol from fermenting fruits. Also has a boozers nose.

And monkeys do like fermented fruits too.

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[–] mrmisses@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

We're not fast but we can run for a long time. Don't have natural weapons but can make them. Then there are people who voted for trump 1-3 times. And other countries that see how the USA is doing and are trying to copy it. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I hate it here

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 8 points 2 weeks ago

Don't forget how we've been partying by getting absolutely smashed with a large variety of poisons for fucking millennia. We make alcohol out of plants, honey and even milk.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I mean, there are various other animal species that specialize in eating so much poison that they become poisonous themselves, so we're not very impressive in this regard.

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[–] Klear@piefed.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Our superpower is sweating.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 days ago

we have a lot of little superpowers, but i'd say the big one is the thing we're doing right now. We would never have made any of this technology if we didn't communicate and work together absurdly well.

Hell it applies to other animals too: being both intelligent and social unlocks the ability for not only your entire species but potentially even all the intelligent species to collaborate.

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[–] an_onanist@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Yet, we drink from a mountain stream and we shit ourselves until we dehydrate and die.

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[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That or salt. Which goes well with the stable bond of two of the most reactive substances in the universe, that makes up 90% of our body.

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[–] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Is this about capsaicin? Because that's not a poison by any definition of the word.

[–] jmill@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The morning necessity is probably caffeine.

But capsaicin is a neurotoxin, and high enough doses absolutely can be dangerous and even fatal. The pain involved long before those doses are reached keeps most sensible people safe.

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[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Isn't there an annual "man vs horse running race" where, once every decade or so, someone actually beats the horse?

[–] DrBob@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

People beat horses on the regular. The "man vs horse" race balances the course to try to make it equal. Horses will trounce people on courses under 3 hours or so. Humans do better with steep terrain. So humans will crush a trail endurance race over longer distances. We will lose badly on short, flat courses.

Interestingly dogs are the other species that can really hang with people in endurance runs. We will eventually leave them behind as well. They can outrun us in sprints and courses under a few hours. They can't keep pace at 4+ hours.

I used to work as a safety officer for a mountain ultramarathon race. The shortest course was 8 miles, the longest was 100. We have humans that can run 100 miles in a day and a half. I don't think any other land animal can do that. Hell, I'm a human, I can't do that.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I don't feel alive unless the threat of death is constantly looming over me. That's why I eat shrimp fried ricin.

[–] dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

we call it a poison, not nature;) no such thing as poisons except to humans

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

I can't function without my morning cup of pesticide.

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