this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2026
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Swords The Webcomic | Bluesky

Transcript Image 14 Panel Comic with title banner across the middle

Title Banner: Choose Your Weapon

1: A sword that is stronger the more books you have read [A golden curved sword with a hole in the middle, a brain sits on the back of the sword, the handle is the brainstem. Lighting crackles around the brain. Loose pages are seen just off frame. Barely visible in the background is β€œ42”, β€œLXIX”, β€œ33”, β€œM”, β€œXLII”]

2: A sword that is stronger the more lies the opponent has told you [The sword resembles Pinocchio, his body stretched out like Superman. His nose spirals out from his face like a whip.]

3: A sword that is stronger the further you are from home. [A large grey beaten up single sided sword with a hole in the middle. A brown backpack hangs from the hole. There are several bumper stickers on the sword, two read β€œLake Tang” and β€œSWRD”.]

4: A sword that is stronger the more your back hurts. [A sword so massive it doesn’t fit in frame. Energy bursts from the blade]

Footer text: Episode CMXLV Β© 2018-2025 ~ MATTHEW J WILLS ~ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED THE USE OF THIS IMAGE TO TRAIN LARGE LANGUAGE MODELS IS PROHIBITED

@SWORDSCOMIC

Transcript Image 24 Panel Comic

1: Choose Your Cursed Sword

2: Curse where every third word you say is an antonym [A sword with a blade that resembles a purple and slightly silver tongue curls outward. The cross guard resembles a lower jaw with teeth. The handle is pink with pink stripes wrapping it and a black pommel]

3: Curse where you can only see through the eyes of people who can currently see you. [A orange elvish-looking blade, long with a narrow base like a waist, with a white chevron across the middle and a white stripe across the cross guard. The pommel is a safety cone.]

4: Curse of smelling smells from three minutes in the future. [Sword with a blade that resembles a long nose with too many holes. The cross guard is the nostrils with teeth below it and a tongue for the handle.]

Footer text: EPISODE MIII Β© 2018-2026 ~ MATTHEW J WILLS ~ MADE IN NZ ~ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED THE USE OF THIS IMAGE TO TRAIN LARGE LANGUAGE MODELS IS PROHIBITED

@SWORDSCOMIC

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[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 23 hours ago

I think the second has the most potential. But I don't need a sword to be honest.

If you're homeless does that make sword #3 insanely powerful or insanely weak?

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I threw my back out last night so I'll take that 4th one right now. Normally I'd take the 1st though.

Edit: on reflection I'll take the "books read" one anyway because no sword in the world is awesome enough that I'm gonna be swinging it in combat with crippling back pain.

[–] morto@piefed.social 28 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The last sword is more of a superpower than a curse

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Knowing something about the future three minutes in advance.

I wonder if three minutes is enough to profit a lot off of day trading stocks. One smell, the stock is going up. Another one, it's going down.... but three minutes isn't long.

[–] reev@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Theoretically you can use it to communicate with past you so yes, definitely. Smell lavender, stocks are going up. Smell shit from a butt, they shat the bed.

And 3 minutes is plenty with leverage!

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You don't want to do the shit smell specifically because one bad fart could destroy your fortune.

[–] reev@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

Wise words that I'm sure only experience can teach you, thank you.

[–] something183786@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

My wife has this β€œsuperpower”. It’s only useful is rare circumstances. Most of the time it’s a curse.

[–] morto@piefed.social 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

But how...

there are so many questions

[–] Lag@piefed.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

She's 3 minutes closer to his butt than he is.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

It's more that time moves slower when closer to large masses.

[–] gnu@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Book sword seems an easy pick assuming the scaling of the power ups is remotely similar - if you're an educated adult you should already have a decent power level, its strength isn't going to vary wildly on you (lies would be particularly bad for this), you can have a strong sword without living in pain, and if you need extra power you can just smash through a bunch of childrens books in a few hours.

In terms of the curse sword smells from the future seems the pick. Changing every third word would cause a lot of communication annoyances and seeing only through other people's eyes would make you blind a significant amount of the time.

[–] lambdabeta@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago

Not to mention the obvious anti-synergy of other people's eyes and book sword. Reading from other people's eyes would be tricky to say the least.

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[–] cmhe@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (5 children)

How is smelling smells three minutes into the future a curse?

I mean if it works similar to other time powers like seeing into the future, that future would be preventable.

Smelling the future and acting to it seems like pretty awesome, and three minutes is pretty long... You have enough time to act and escape you death maybe, if you suddenly don't smell anything anymore... Or you can make sure that you only eat the best food available... Since tasting food is mostly about smells... You could become an awesome cook... you just have to deal with the five tongue senses...

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I think the smells from 3 minutes in the future would be full of paradoxes if you try and use it to game the system.

You smell your toast burning, so you pop the toaster early, now theres no toast to burn. But you still smelled the toast burning, so now youre just having a stroke.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago

More like you can never actually act on the information without creating a time paradox. So if stop the toast burning it actually means your house is on fire instead. You prevent yourself from shitting your pants, but the toilet explodes the moment you sit down.

[–] cmhe@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

That would be the same with future sight... Which people would argue is a super power...

[–] Canconda@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

smelling smells three minutes into the future

Is the sense of smell fundamentally enhanced? My MIL can't smell anything and hasn't been able to since a teen. I on the other hand have an over sensitive sense of smell.

I mean if it works similar to other time powers like seeing into the future, that future would be preventable.

Depends on if can you can still smell current smells or if everything is fast forwarded by 3 minutes.

Like lets say I smell a bakery down the road (within viewing distance but too far to actually smell) but I don't like what they're baking so I flip over a garbage can and cover myself in rotten eggs. Now if I changed the future, the baking smell should be replaced by the egg smell the moment I commit to tipping the garbage can. BUT if I instead smell rotten eggs 3 minutes before approaching the garbage can than my decisions are decided independently of the smell preview.

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[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago (3 children)

The seeing through someone else’s eyes would make you a poker god.

[–] UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago (4 children)

You'd never know what your own hand is unless someone cheats.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

It doesn't say that you can't see through your own eyes, which can always see your nose.

I'd say it's a god power in general if you can train yourself to move accurately from arbitrary 3rd person perspectives. Though even if you just briefly look at other people's screen and go back to yours, you can turn that into a huge advantage.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’m assuming you could switch back and forth at will.

Then it isn't a curse at all?

[–] Janx@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago

In poker, you don't play your hand, you play your opponents.

[–] KittyCat@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Plus the worlds best military spotter

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[–] HisThiccness@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 days ago
[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Sun Tzu hates the #2.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

I'm fucking OP with the traveller's sword.

[–] Melobol@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The only see through eye that can see you curse can be a blessing. Ask any blind / nearly blind person.

[–] meekah@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

it makes you blind when you are alone, though. the only one not actually cursed is the smell one. might even be an advantage

[–] Melobol@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago (3 children)

No it doesn't make you blind if you blind by default. It is only an upgrade from not being able to see :D.
And you can always carry a pocket lizard with you :D

[–] brsrklf@jlai.lu 2 points 23 hours ago

Make that a chameleon specifically. Can see you with one eye and watch in a completely different direction with the other.

No depth perception though.

[–] Test_Tickles@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I would just like to point out that even without the sword, you can still always carry a pocket lizard.

[–] Melobol@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago
[–] meekah@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah you're right, it would be an upgrade for blind people, but still a curse for anyone else. And I don't think the lizard would work, as it says you can see through the eyes of people who can see you.

[–] Melobol@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago

Hmm.. I think some lizards are more people than some people we all know...
Still a win even if its not working :D

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

3: worthless because home is where I am.

4 though...

[–] cannedtuna@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Obviously I’m picking the back pain sword, tho the book sword is a close second pick for me.

[–] Test_Tickles@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

By the power of Kidney Stones, I have the power!

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[–] Bruncvik@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Dual-wield book and back pain sword. My back hurts from hunching over too many books.

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 days ago

do audiobooks count at all for the brain sword?

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Gimme the first sword and I'll do god-tier damage.

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[–] AntiBullyRanger@ani.social 2 points 2 days ago
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 1 day ago

The first one is anything that scales off INT in a Fromsoft game.

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