me_irl

Asking my life partner how their day was is not small talk. Asking the same question from the cashier at the grocery checkout is small talk.

People think that "i hate small talk" must mean "i want big talk" because they cannot comprehend the idea of just shutting tf up

Talking To my partner isn't small talk. Sustaining a conversation with a coworker who won't shut the fuck up is small talk

Some people are just scared of silence I guess.

That's what normies don't get about introverts: we're not above small talk, we're above small talk when it's all there is. Of course we'll ask the loved one how their day has been, and the fact is we'll actually shut the fuck up and listen to it all, and when things become serious we'll talk to say meaningful things.

Else, there's folie à deux echolalia, shitty jokes, movie lines, comfortable silence, or skipping it all to 'scorching hot sex'.

What's wrong with silence? You don't have to talk continuously.

My bf and I barely talk at all. It's fucking awesome just being comfortable shutting the fuck up together.

With silence. Peace and tranquility. Simply enjoying someone's very presence without needing to verbalize it

The definition of small talk is literally establishing common ground in some way. It's only meant for people you don't or barely know.

It's absolutely unnecessary for people you already know deeply.

Firstly, that sounds great. Secondly small talk is meaningless filler, not common topics, so asking common things is not small talk as long as I actually care and participate in the conversion (like "how are you?" Or "how was your day?" Or even "interesting weather today")

Talking random bullshit with someone you know well is great, performative socially masked pleasantries specifically chosen for their generality, and uncontroversial nature is immensely draining emotionally and mentally.

I don't mind having a conversation about stupid bullshit, I love those. But I do hate having a superficial conversation filled with lies and obfuscation about meaningless topics neither of us care about solely for the sake of filling the silence. It's a waste of energy and time.

We're both autistic and therefore both hate small talk. Problem solved.

The more I read into this thread, the more I appreciate being German. I don't talk to the cashier besides smiling at them and saying hello and goodbye and they don't expect me to. I only talk to people I want to talk to, besides at work. But even there I keep it low.

It's not that I don't like to talk. I just prefer to talk with a meaning.

hi honey I'm home

such weather we're having huh?

you said it

Peak romance ❤️

You don’t need to discuss how pleasant the weather is, but talking about the important things in your life is necessary for a meaningful relationship.

I mean, the Fins have a thriving society.

I can’t explain it, but they’re among the happiest people on earth.

"Hi honey, i'm home".

yes, thats what I want

Exclusively dating ND women has been a blessed relief from small talk

Life partner arrives home. Me: extends middle finger. Life partner: grunts. The rest of the interaction: [redacted]

“I am home” is not small talk but a declaration, you inform anyone else currently in the home that you specifically (and not a burglar) are now present.

No you transition straight into hardcore steamy sex

I hate small talk, vehemently opposed to it... been married over 15 years...

When it is someone you truly love and cherish... even the most mundane things come with a sense of beauty and wonder, because it's them. Their thoughts, their opinions, their take on whatever applies the meaning. My wife and I can talk about the rain and the trees and the bugs and the birds for hours, for no other reason than it gives us a chance to be together.

Looking at it the way the post does... you're missing the forest because of all the trees.

Do people in relationships actually talk about useless shit all day??

Because the purpose of life is to experience it?

Hearing what happened at my gf's office shows that I'm interested in what she's doing. Her telling me about her coworker who had a health scare means she cares about the people around her in that office. Her asking how my baseball game went means she cares that I did well, or I had fun playing the game.

Life isn't a bunch of yes/no/maybe computer prompts from an RPG. That sounds like a miserable way to live to be honest.

I thought so about myself too, until i realise i hate small talk because most of the time it's about topic idgaf or with people i don't want to interact with or when i'm supposed to focus.

We either have free will or we have the illusion of free will so convincing and persistent that no meaningful distinction can be drawn and we must continue to act as if we have free will.