this post was submitted on 30 May 2026
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General Memes & Private Chuckle

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The first one (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 4 days ago by Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/Memes@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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[–] therewolftherecastle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 hours ago

I wore one off when using the home computer so I could hear my father or his girlfriend's approach. Both of the assholes were the kind of malignant narcissist who believes they're the smartest person in the room in any given situation but are actually pig shit stupid and solve every problem with verbal abuse and/or violence.

They would constantly spittle-flying scream at and occasionally strike me for every perceived "fuck up" I made but "hacking the computer with downloads" put the biggest pole up their ass. This accusation came anytime I did basic shit that was noticeable like changing the wallpaper or if they saw me updating Windows.

One time, my father had an absolute meltdown because he couldn't "turn off the fucking websites". Confused, I asked him what he meant and he called me an idiot and started screaming about how "all your websites were fucking up the box". I patiently asked him to show me what he was trying to do. The fucking moron was livid because he didn't know how to use the pull-down menu on the shutdown prompt. Instead of apologizing for losing his cool, he just yelled at me more telling me to never leave it on "restart" again.

I don't really talk to him as an adult outside of holidays and family emergencies.

[–] LavaPlanet@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago

Fun times! I was to young to wear headphones, but my mother laughs about how she used to belt me because I didn't answer her, it took my nan showing her I was deaf, by standing right behind me and talking at me. I was 3.

[–] Cypher45@lemmy.dbzer0.com 51 points 4 days ago (4 children)

For those who don't understand, this meme is a reference to me.

My daddy would beat the shit out of me if he asked me something and I didn't reply because I had headphones on and didn't hear him.

So I would wear it like that.

[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

By the time I was a teenager my dad wouldn't lay a finger on me. I was taller than him and twice as strong. Too bad he had beaten me enough up to that time that I was terrified of him and didn't notice. My dad would just destroy my headphones when I wasn't around and belittle me for not taking care of them. Anything I ended up with he wanted, he stole. Same goes for my mother. She would regularly throw my books in the trash. Sure sign was when she would have me take the trash to the dumpster at a nearby store. I figured this out and started removing my stuff and stashing it places. Narc parents are evil and should be tested for. No child should have to endure that level of constant abuse.

[–] Cypher45@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Lol same! One day I snapped when I was helping him fix some lights when he started yelling at me for doing something wrong instead of properly explaining to me how to do it (every single time he does this)

And I stabbed him on the face with a screwdriver lol

He had to get some stitches and I have never felt scared of him since.

Edit: Oh and my mother and I left him after this.

[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

My problem was that my mother was worse than him. To give you a few examples through my life.

I won a contest and ended up with a fairly expensive nick nack. It disappeared a year or so after hanging out on a shelf in my room. I spotted it a few years later at one of her friends house. I said hey thats mine but the lady got offended and said it certainly is not. Next time I was there it was gone.

When I got married my ex's grandmother let her use her grapes punch bowl. My mother stole it and we never got it back. I didn't end up with any of my child hood things. Not my band jacket or any other award I ever received. I'm sure my sister will chunk it all in the trash. She is a chip off the old rotted block.

[–] Cypher45@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Wow man, I was lucky enough to have my mom on my side, you should cut off any ties you have with them.

[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I did years ago and I didn't go to the funerals.

[–] n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 18 points 4 days ago

Freak, the cup goes BEHIND the ear!!

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Dang, I didn't regularly get the shit beat out of me, but basically everything just up to that, screaming, random punishments that made no sense, shit getting thrown around, doors opened and slammed, etc.

Absolutely no concept of being allowed to have an actually private and safe space, untill I went off to uni.

My entire family was like this.

I also learned to wear a headset like this.

[–] Viceversa@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I bet they were upset that they couldn't do that to you anymore.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

They were.

They were also probably similarly upset that they can no longer abuse me after they essentially tried to ruin my life / indirectly kill me for the ... 3rd, 4th time? And I then ghosted them to the point that I'm quite sure they think I am dead.

They might be in for a surprise when I report my dad to the IRS for illegally listing me as a dependant on his taxes for the last few years though.

... I've got a goddamned degree in Econ and another in Poli Sci, this idiot is Q Anon MAGA cultist who builds ghosts guns in his garage, and bought a house at the literal peak of the housing market, a few years back.

But according to them, I'm the crazy idiot.

Ok then. Sure.

Anyway, I guess +1 for the CPTSD by way of 'entire family is mentally unstable narcissists' club.

[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Like the other person who commented I hope you break the cycle as well. I for the most part did. I was very angry and sometimes violent when I was a young adult but I finally got some treatment and things are much better now.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Still workin on the Zen thing, yeah.

I'm a lot better than I was, but... oh if you manage to actually piss me off, I will explode.

Usually I can control it, but... not every time.

So... not there yet.

[–] Viceversa@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I hope you'll break the cycle with your kids!

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh I made the choice that I will not be having kids, ever, before I got out of highschool.

Not primarily out of spite.

Primarily because I recognize that my upbringing was fucked up enough that it fucked me up, no matter how much therapy I've done. There are echoes and tendencies of them... and scars from them...

And also, apparently my mother (and her brother) have a literally novel form of neuropathy... like, they discovered the unique genetic sequence/mutation in them.

So just no, I'm ending this genetic and epigenetic line with myself.

Maybe, maybe if I'm ever not broke and crippled and near destitute, I would consider adoption, but unless my fortunes dramatically improve, not in the cards.

[–] Viceversa@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Same, but because of clinical depression. Won't pass that "gift".

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 days ago

Well, if nobody's told you they care about you today, I do.

Hope things are goin at least ok, that something fun or neat happened to ya in the last couple of days.

[–] shweddy@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

With jumper cables?

[–] hateisreality@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Oh shittymorph

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I had a great childhood but still did this because I did not want to get caught jerking it.

[–] vagrancyand@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Fun fact, actually good childhoods included ample privacy at any age you'd be jacking off.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 days ago

We could only afford one computer.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 9 points 3 days ago

I did have a good childhood, but I still did this in order to not be caught masturbating because I thought it would be awkward, not because I thought I'd be punished. I mean I did lock the door, but if someone's knocking on your door and you don't answer, in the middle of the day, there's not much question of what a teenage boy is doing in his room, is there?

Now I do it if I'm trying to work with my toddler (2yo) home. Sometimes I'm sent a video describing a problem I need to solve and the person recording it explains it verbally in addition to showing the workflow.

[–] plutopos@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago

There are many completely normal situations in which you might want to keep an ear out

[–] chtk@feddit.nl 13 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Neither?

Unless this meme is about keeping one ear free when using head phones. I do that, but only when I'm walking or riding on a bike lane.

[–] LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 days ago

So the second one for you?

It wasn’t childhood, but I had a relationship where I learned this. It would be a fight if I didn’t hear something they said, so I would always have one side of the headphones off so I could hear where they were and if they said anything….

[–] deft@lemmy.wtf 2 points 4 days ago

It's about listening for your parents either to come home, come up the stairs or speaking to you.

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Opposit for me I do it now, because my kids lol

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

With toddlers, it's the silence I most suspect!

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

Right? You're there, reading your book, when, wait, they dont let me do this! And then boom painting the wall with poop

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 points 3 days ago

I only have my own kid now, living with me, turned 2 recently. But when I was still together with my ex, her other kid was in the range of 2-4. Silence is the second scariest thing, silence followed by "Sain!" was much scarier. It could be translated as "got it!" or "did it!", basically something was accomplished. By a nearly 3 year old.

[–] mx_smith@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Kid was a DJ?

[–] djsaskdja@reddthat.com 4 points 4 days ago

Never had wireless headphones or type-c USB as a kid so I dunno.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world -3 points 2 days ago

Very ignorant photo to use... that model headphones literally has a passthrough mode that can amplify ambient audio

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world -2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Open ear 'phones have been a thing for a while now. Do you even run bro?

/s

[–] texture@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

you dont want the sound of the porn your watching escaping, do you?