this post was submitted on 27 May 2026
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Comic Strips

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[Jesus sits on a rock, speaking]
A new commandβ€―I give you:
Love one another

[an angry character talks back to Jesus]
What if they're something bad like gay, trans, brown, or communist though?

[Jesus is facepalming on his rock]
I don't want to be a messiah anymore

https://thebad.website/comic/gospel_of_love

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[–] ztwhixsemhwldvka@lemmy.world 87 points 4 days ago (5 children)

Just a note, Jesus wasn't actually purple even though he is depicted here as such.

[–] goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 76 points 4 days ago (2 children)

actually, many scholars today believe jesus most likely was purple, as a result of the water in his body being transmuted into wine. this is why in modern catholic tradition, wine is used to represent the blood of christ.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 points 3 days ago

purple

grapes are purple, it makes sense.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 24 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (8 children)

Guy was a walking DUI, with a BAC of 100%.

[–] goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 4 days ago (2 children)

this is why the bible contains no mention of jesus driving a car or reciting the alphabet backwards

Dude walked straight into a lake

i mean he was chronically wasted. he thought it went alpha, omega, delta, gamma...

wouldn't the BAC be around 15% though? 100% would be for distilled stuff, and while an appalachian jesus sounds rad, i don't think he ever did water into moonshine.

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 days ago

If his blood were wine it would have an abv of between 8-14 percent, although I believe wine was significantly diluted back then.

[–] Batman@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

At that point id argue it is an ABC

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[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 8 points 3 days ago

In the whole Bible there is no indication that he wasn't purple

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Then explain all the portraits! /s

Grimace from McDonalds dressed as Jesus.


Ecce Muppo. Unknown, 2026

[–] Bad@jlai.lu 14 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Of course, canon Jesus reply would be "but we're brown ourselves though?"

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[–] Haaveilija@lemmy.world 38 points 4 days ago
[–] AnnaFrankfurter@lemmy.ml 25 points 4 days ago (3 children)
[–] sureshot0@discuss.online 10 points 4 days ago

I've read the Kama Sutra. There's a chapter in there telling you to karate chop your woman in the head. At the end of the chapter, it mentions that some women have died from said move. I don't think it's really the be all and end all of good sex. There's also a chapter on seducing your neighbor's child bride.

[–] yogurtwrong@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago (8 children)

As an ex-muslim i can confidently say quran does not tell us to love one another, it tells us to love our muslim brothers and rape, kill, torture everyone else.

I am just grateful most muslims are delusional people who have never read a single word of their book (in their native language) and live a life nowhere as close to that is depicted in the book. There is a reason why jihadism etc. is more popular in Arabic speaking countries, because they actually understand the thing they are reading.

[–] sureshot0@discuss.online 3 points 4 days ago

And the Kama Sutra is incredibly sexually violent, if I'm remembering correctly.

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[–] Solumbran@lemmy.world 28 points 4 days ago (40 children)

It's amazing that a sect leader that promoted peace and frugality unknowingly created one of the most violent and greedy religions.

[–] West_of_West@piefed.social 15 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Yes it certainly morphs after Constantine makes it the state religion, rather than a cult.

I am reading a book on the Baltic Crusades and it was talking about the diametrically opposed ideas of state violence and a pacifist religion. Essentially, pacifism doesn't work as a state policy. The Christian church struggled to decide what violence the state should be able to commit.

Augustine, thought war could be justified in certain circumstances, one of which was if the following peace created more good than the evil if the war wasn't fought.

Nowadays, I don't think people even know that Christianity was/is a pacifist movement.

I mean, it should be obvious to Christians today that Jesus repeatedly and consistently made a clear distinction between the "kingdom of heaven" and secular nations. Separation of church and state was absolutely one of the premises the early church worked off of as a teaching of Jesus himself. The idea of a "Christian Nation" is indeed antithetical to the very foundations of Christianity. The early history of Christianity is pretty lost on people today and people are quite unaware of just how drastic the changes in Christianity were in the early 300s, and how gigantic of a deal it was for the Roman state to adopt Christianity at the time.

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[–] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

Me:"what if they're a hateful loser like him?"

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 13 points 4 days ago (11 children)

Contrariwise, you are also commanded to love racists, homophobes, transphobes, and authoritarians. You can certainly try to convince them away from those stances, but you are still supposed to be kind, even generous, to the persons.

Unconditional love can be heartbeatingly hard.

[–] TheGoldenV@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I’m going with the paradox of tolerance on that.

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

β€œDID I FUCKING STUTTER?”

[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 days ago

"That's it. Get my whip. And a table."

[–] etherphon@piefed.world 8 points 4 days ago (5 children)

Another fun question: What if I'M gay, trans, brown or communist, what does the church have for me?
OH a special treat for you a lifetime of feeling guilty about who you are.

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[–] Footer1998@crazypeople.online 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

but what if they voted for Trump?

.this comment is bait, if you got baited please tell me I'm a piece of shit or something

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