Off My Chest

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I can hardly ever do something I haven't done before if I don't know exactly how. (lemmy.sdf.org)

submitted 4 days ago by user224@lemmy.sdf.org to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

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Software often has pretty good documentation. But real-world things don't.
And if I don't know exact steps to do something and what to expect, I just can't really push myself to try it the first time. That can be put into an interesting sentence.
"I can't do it because I haven't done it."

Recent example:
I want to take a bus. But I haven't yet used the company that operates these buses. I do have an RFID card with e-wallet that is compatible with this company. That is because they operate as intercity transport in the same region, and same tickets are valid there. Except for one line, the one I am most interested in.
Now comes the problem.
How am I supposed to board? How do I buy the ticket? On other lines, am I supposed to prove I have one?

Before I start with the issues of unknowns, I should mention I so far spent 3 hours trying to find the information. That includes searching for videos which may show what others do in the background. In one similar case I found the answer from a TV news report filmed near a bus stop, and my answer was in the background.

So, boarding. Is it front doors only, or do the doors not matter? I've seen both.
Purchasing the ticket: There was a mention of possible cash payment, buying the ticket "from the driver". I managed to find photos from inside the bus, and to further my confusion, there were 3 terminals. All of them RFID-compatible.
2 are ticket validators next to both doors.
1 is on-board computer (apprears to be TransData Vesna model) along with a ticket printer and RFID terminal, operated by bus driver.
If it was just one of those, I'd know what to do.
I found one video from that special line. The person presented a QR code of valid ticket to the driver before boarding. But I don't use that payment method.
But if it's front doors only, why are there validators in the rear? Or was that just something specific to this line?

Now, I could do the one obvious thing, ask the driver. But I really hate talking to people I don't know.
An alternative I am contemplating is sending an e-mail to the company with my questions. They do have one for customer questions.

This is always a problem if I don't know exact steps for something. And even then I am still really anxious before I actually do it for the fist time.

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[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The bus system here will pair new people with a sherpa, show you how to load a bike onto the front bike rack, etc. because they recognize this problem.

If you are just really uncomfortable with uncertainty in general, that can be a problem. I like to muddle through more than my husband does, he's more like you are, but I don't think you can get to a point where you are controlling for everything, and there will always have to be a first time - you have to do that to get yourself from here to experienced. So if you are only asking about the bus specifically I would go ahead and submit your questions by email like you are thinking, and recognize you just are gonna have to jump in. It might also help to practice asking people things, like even if you do know, ask the person next to you "can we go into any door or only the front?" Practice.

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 4 days ago (2 children)

If you are just really uncomfortable with uncertainty in general, that can be a problem.

Yeah, that was just one of many cases. If I don't know exact steps to do something, and there's others around, it's just like I physically can't even try.
Another example, probably even starnger one, I never went to library at our uni because I don't know its layout. Or the canteen, where you choose what food you want by ordering it through touchscreen kiosk, but I don't know the UI, and I could only observe others from afar.

[–] klankin@piefed.ca 2 points 3 days ago

Honestly sounds like you might be a bit on the spectrum, maybe mixed with some anxiety.

But none of us here are going to be able to give a professional diagnosis, just reccomend exploring that avenue.

My best advice would be explore things as much as you can safely, but honestly dont worry about doing it and doing it wrong. Absolute worst case you look like a fool for 30 seconds in front if some strangers, but gain knowledge you can use for years (even about something as simple as ordering food).

Wearing headphones, especially noise cancelling can also help cut out a lot of the, well, noise in the environment and discourage others from focusing on you (by looking busy), so make things like exploring a new library easier to approach as well.

All anecdotal though, so take it all with a grain of salt and recognise if any of this feels like its not working for you - dont force it! You'll figure out what works best for you in time.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

You might want to try getting help if it's getting in the way of your life - I do know off my chest isn't for advice though so I'll just say oof, that sucks! And I hope it eases for you somehow.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 2 points 3 days ago

Im kinda the opposite. While I prefer to get as much information as I can before I attempt something I will just go and do it. I certinaly can be anxious though if I do not have enough information. Heck im anxious about things that I know inside and out and have done a million times but im aware of how they can fail.

[–] Smeagol666@crazypeople.online 1 points 3 days ago

One of my favorite quotes espouses the opposite:

"I am always doing what I cannot do yet in order to learn how to do it." - Vincent Van Gogh

[–] DearMoogle@piefed.social 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I never know whenever I’m in a new city either. Sometimes it’s a bit convoluted, especially when there are paper tickets involved instead of tap to pay. Searching for answers on my phone helps. And just copying what other people are doing. Stand back and watch for a while if you have to. Nobody knows everything. Pretend you’re a tourist😆