this post was submitted on 01 May 2026
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Mental Health

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Basically the takeaway was:

"Fix your sleep schedule"

"Just go outside more"

"Stop being anxious, other people aren't constantly thinking about you"

Also I get asked like "so what do you do at home?"

um... how should I answer this? "Oh I read online forums that has politically extreme memes?" (I mean that's what half of Lemmy memes are...)

Or am I supposed to explain every youtube video I watched?

Idk how to even answer that...

My parents are paying the copays and I'm on parents insurance... honestly if I had to pay for this, I'd probably just sue them for funsies lmao... maybe if I win a medical malpractice lawsuit, the payout will cure my depression xD (okay probably not medical malpractice, but I felt like I was just wasting time so I really wanna just go sue them for fun lol)

I'm actually gonna die of "big sad" lmao

(My soul definitely died...)

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 5 points 13 hours ago

Well, if those takeaways were literal quotes, you've got a problem.

Otherwise, therapy is a process of achieving those things as goals. And you aren't going to do that in five sessions.

For real, you gotta think in terms of months to get going in therapy in terms of seeing changes, and years for lasting changes that send issues into remission. And that's what it is, remission, not a cure. You can't cure things that are an extension of a functioning system, and the kind of things you've stated as the issues you are trying to address are standard features of the human mind, they've just become disordered.

So, taking those takeaways into a more constructive format, you would work on shifting your sleep schedule by keeping both an activity diary, and tracking your sleep patterns if possible. Figure out the pattern that leads to unhealthy sleep, and then you can start working on shifting it.

You would work on going out more by taking a set time to literally just step outside into the sun. Set an alert/alarm and look at it like a job. Yes, that's absurdly minimal, but you don't yet have the tools to engage in prolonged exposures, so it's about touching figurative grass if you're in a city, or literally if you have a lawn. Just go out long enough that you could touch the ground. That's the first step. Worry about more later, once you've built that pattern.

You see what I'm getting at?

There are proven things that help with the anxiety/depression/ptsd/panic complex. They are very hard to do when you're dealing with those issues, so you take baby steps.

Even the "people aren't spending their time thinking about you" is a baby step towards a more full way of thinking about the world that allows improved function.

And, when a question that seems ridiculous like "what do you do at home" comes up, you answer it. As honestly as possible, and let the therapist guide you along once you start. You'll say something like "I'm on lemmy, bullshitting and scrolling memes". They'll ask something else, you'll answer that too. Early on, the questions are as much about them getting an understanding of you as anything else. Therapy is a relationship. Relationships are built on a mutual exchange of shared experiences. The way we build any relationship is by talking (mostly).

With individual, one on one therapy, the structure keeps things from boiling over. Small steps to understanding and trust. You can't rush it. Trying to makes it take longer.

It's also important to eventually find the ability to express when a question is triggering. That won't be easy at first, but it's not only helpful in sessions, it's part of the tool kit you're trying to gather by doing therapy.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

And, hey, if you and this therapist don't mesh, for any reason, it's okay to find another. Give it a while though.

[–] kindnesskills@literature.cafe 3 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

No therapist can "fix" you, it takes active participation in sessions for it to actually do something. That means being honest even when that means admitting you dont know what to say or that you don't want to answer, because then you can have a discussion around why that is hard for you.

Participating in therapy means poking and prodding where there is internal resistance, because that's where you can find some answers for the things that are hurting you.

You need to try trusting the therapist, and a lot of good can come even from talking honestly about the issues you have with the session - as long as you're doing your best to be open about it. You can say for example that the tips they give you makes it feel like they dont understand you or want to listen to you when they just give generic advice, and that you're not responding well to unsolicited advice in general.

This therapist may not be a great match though, especially if they make you feel unsafe about your olace in your country (although it seems worth exploring at some future point)... and there is no problem to try a different one! Perhaps you can find one that is more used to working with people in your specific circumstances, or your current one can recommend you someone else?

But no therapist in the world is going to be good for you unless you actually say what's on your mind, even when it seems inane or pointless or embarrassing or empty.

At least that's what years of therapy for very little effect taught me, compared to six months with a determined mind, a deadline, and a skillful specialised therapist.

[–] StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 3 points 13 hours ago

Definitely find another therapist, you are not vibing with this one

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 2 points 13 hours ago

It's perfectly fine to ask for a different therapist if your needs aren't being met. Not saying it isn't awkward though. I've felt weird doing it but finding the right fit is better for everyone involved. Most importantly, it's better for the patient (and no therapist worth the papers on their walls would disagree).

Everywhere is a little different but I'd look for a messaging feature on their website or an email address connected to their front desk / intake people. Might be as simple as "Hi, I'm [you], a patient of [whoever]. I'd like to switch to another therapist whose background and experiences are more similar to mine. [Brief summary like what you've said in other posts]."

Depending on how well-staffed they are, maybe they'll have a handful of candidates in mind or could set you up with appointments to meet with other available therapists and see if you're more comfortable with them. If they're a smaller agency, they should at least be able to help navigate you through finding someone else who would be covered by the same insurance policy.

Best of luck to you whether you stick with the one you've got or try to find another. The process can be a pain but it often pays off in the end.

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 2 points 13 hours ago

um… how should I answer this?

How you did...

Like, therapy is talking, he's still asking very basic questions on your fifth appointment, it sounds because you're just not talking to him.

You're young enough to be on parent insurance, which means COVID was during your school years, and you have no problem typing.

Try to find a therapist who will work with you over text. Work up to sitting in the same room and texting, eventually working up to more and more verbal sessions.

That's basic exposure therapy to what sounds like social avoidance due to depression. And since you mentioned acclimating to a new country, it might just be easier for you to use your current language in text.

But the real point is:

You need to communicate how you can with a professional, just because you may like text more doesn't mean strangers over text is better than licenced professionals.

This is literally the discussion you should have been having in your last session. If you just don't jell with that one, find a new one. It's not a big deal.

[–] SpikesOtherDog@ani.social 1 points 13 hours ago

Have you tried not doing the thing? You paid me to tell you it's bad, so you should stop.

You need to find someone else and give them the goals you want to achieve.

I personally do not discuss that politically extreme content I see.