have a UDP joke, but I don't care if you get it
wanna hear a TCP joke?
this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2026
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Ack
network guys have the best connections for these jokes.
Main takeaway: UDP is sexy, TCP not so much. Did I miss anything? 🤔
I'd tell you a udp joke but you might not get it.
I need to grow up some time. Shoot!
spoiler
That was the joke. Data sent through UDP might be lost in transport and there's no mechanism in the protocol to catch that fault. Whereas TCP does have a way to recover from such an event.
F***!!! You got me GOOD. 🤣
I'm so confused as to if this is a "whoosh" or if I'm the one "whoosh"ing.
TCP is for business (a.k.a. paying your invoice) and UDP is for fun (a.k.a. your voice chat).
business meetings have entered the chat
Could have been an email.
But... What if I want to pay with my voice?
My voice is my passport. Verify me.
Send over a cassette tape of you singing Let It Go from Disney's Frozen and I'll get back to you within four to five business months. If you fail verification, you won't be hearing from me.
I prefer the Demi Lovato version from the end credits. You underestimate my desire to sing Kareoke and my access to cassette tapes.
No shade to Idina Menzel, but Panic! At The Disco did an awesome job with 'Into the Unknown' as well for ending credits for Frozen 2.
Disney Dad's represent.
If we're going to use AI for biometrics, we can make it more fun.
I think TCP is kinda hot too
True, yeah, that stateful back and forth communication elevates it to a whole other level. "Harder", "more", "stop it!", "don't!" and so forth.
UDP is bacteria, TCP is eucaryptic cells. More organized, less random stuff floating around.
enables higher levels of organization and more complex systems.
UDP packets are suicide bombers and TCP packets are undercover operatives.
Shutup UDP ur drunk
UDP by itself has no state management, but some protocols will do state management at higher levels while using UDP as the transport
Yeah, because ultimately UDP is just IP with ports and a checksum added on top, you can do anything with it you can do with plain IP, including reliable transport.