The 90s one was SO bad. Maybe they can do it better with the CG now, but so much of the book series was based on extremely visceral body horror and violence. I don’t think any faithful adaptation could get a rating to be viewed by its intended audience.
this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2026
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Television
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The Gang Become A Cell of Child Domestic Terrorists
I was about to say, you can't even do a "teachable moments" sort of kid's show with it because half the books are "teachable" in the sense of teaching a child to fire an RPG. Like, by only the eighth book (out of 56), one of them has already nearly died (maybe twice), and we also start getting thoughts like "could I murder my own brother if it came down to it".
Dang I had so many of these books growing up. Either my memory is trash or I didn't actually read most of them because the only thing I remember is some guy got stuck as a hawk lmao
Happened in book one, lol
There's absolutely no way they'll simultaneously do the books justice while rating it for middle schoolers.
Like, the covers of those books deliberately don't do them justice; they evoke a cutesy "The magical animal powers club help clueless local cop solve adorable mysteries" vibe that would have blended right in with Goosebumps and Babysitters' Club books but they're actually full of war trauma and body horror. How many of our boomer parents let us read them because they didn't look into it that deep?
And...I don't mean to go all kids these days, I want to break that shit, BUT. My parents and grandparents would tell stories of high school seniors driving school buses. By the time I was in high school, there were laws restricting teen drivers from carrying more than one other teen as a passenger. Our parents didn't let us grow up as far as their parents let them, and then we turned around and did it to the zoomers and alphas. They're even more infantilzied than we were. I don't think that's fair to them. No duh we've got college kids who can't read, they repeated the first grade 12 times.