They don't want to use it because "it's bad" even though they've never used it and barely know what it is. I think they just assume it's bad because I'm the tech weirdo who uses niche Internet stuff.

My friends live in my head.

No one with a passive user mindset will appreciate Lemmy in its current states. There's no algorithmic feed. It isn't pre-populated with stuff they like. Active curation is required. Slow updates aren't seen by this set as an advantage (my attention isn't being constantly funnelled toward nonsense) but a deficiency (I can't doomscroll; 'if the place isn't busy it mustn't be good').

It probably also has to do with a collective loss of any sense of ownership of digital space. I too would treat the web as an appliance (or television) if I thought I was a guest everywhere I went.