Gay: didn't wish for a blowjob, fake: she probably thinks of him too.
this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2026
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Your empathy called, it wants you back.
why would you necro this just to show that you don't understand how greentexts work
My ex from 16 years ago (16 year olds) wished me happy birthday the other week. Was weird we're both married with kids and never speak at all
She’s DTF
(Doing The Friendship)
Weird but sweet anyway
Yeah just way outta the blue, now the real question is so I have to remember hers now? Cause I don't think i do haha
If you want to, ask her and put it in your calendar! It's always nice to know someone remembers you fondly enough to send well wishes 😊
Yeah, this is great advice. It's unfortunate when pressure to do social niceties holds you back from enjoying meaningful connection with people. Some people are better at remembering dates than others, and caring enough to ask (and put it in one's calendar) is at least as powerful a gesture as actually remembering it.
OP could take a jokey tone to things, such as by expressing surprise that she was able to remember, and then asking what her birthday is
why is it weird? I do that too.
Because you're weird
Because you’re weird
i learn nothing from this
You weren't supposed to because it's a joke.
my ex from 10 years ago messaged me on insta to tell me he had gotten a bengal cat (apparently we had talked abt them in the past). i told him congrats & deleted my insta.
I gotta admit, I like wholesome greentexts
Wholesome? Or mushy?
fug where is the funny!?! 😭
Fake: anon had a girlfriend
Gay: anon had dated someone who had sex with a man
I seriously don't get what's fun about this nihilism and gay-shaming.
It's just a running joke for greentexts to call them "fake and gay", which became having to come up with some justification to attach both labels to the story instead of just saying it is. This is completely regardless of what the greentext actually consists of.
The more you have to stretch to make the labels fit, the funnier it is.
Yeah, and I find it funny precisely because of the stretching to make the labels — it makes it feel like it's making fun of people who would unironically call things fake and gay in a manner that was nihilistic and homophobic.
It's similar to how I hate the "git gud" gatekeeping that can be quite prominent amongst fans of games like Dark Souls. However, I take great joy in saying "git gud" in a context where it's patently absurd, like when my housemate arrives home completely drenched from torrential rain. It turns the joke back on the gatekeepy rhetoric
"Sorry Im late, the bridge collapsed and I had to take an alternate route"
"Skill issue tbh"
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I did not expect anything wholesome from this c/...
Ngl I thought this was going to be a really fucked up greentext as soon as I read the word "cancer".
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Thank you, Anon.
Surprisingly touching, thanks for sharing
Fuck man, i was not ready
This anon's alright!
And not exactly alt-right!
hoooh yeeeaah
Threat Level: Alright
Not neccesarily alt-right
From Pepe on a peddling /pol/ site
He's a threat, a level
A level level threat
He's the tamest 4channer
I've ever seen yet
Threat level what? Alright
Threat level who? 4channer
Threat level why? Epstein files, gotta release 'em, peace I'm out!
I was thinking of the song The Kids Are Alt-Right by Bad Religion, but this works too
Nice one! Take an updoot!
Can confirm. Am bassist for Northstar.
Imagine fumbling so hard that you don't get with a girl who is so into you that she wants you around while she's dying of cancer.