this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Hi there, worksite etiquette specialist here.

While the amount of woke on your shit may, in fact, be the gay amount; the appropriate response to such accusations remains the same. You're gonna wanna go with the tried and tested 'takes one to know one' approach. There's many options for deploying this method but my personal favourite is "Why? You lookin' to suck a dick? You're not my type"

For further training, please subscribe for 29.95 a month to my course titled "how to talk or whatever"

[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

Finally, an expert. Thank you.

[–] Kefla@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago

You should suck all their dicks. Then they'll be gay and you'll be all full of manly essence stolen from them. You'll be the only straight one left.

[–] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago
[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't know how to unwoke my shit. Keep Googling it but it keeps saying it's not a word (Orwellian linguistic censorship).

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The only way to fix things is to stop wiping

[–] anotherspinelessdem@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 month ago

Faeces scare the woke mind virus away

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

fry your rice in a pan, don't be a nerd

[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

Not cooking in some woke chinese way.

[–] Sasuke@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

you need to get a piercing in your non-woke ear and show it to the boys

[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago

This is what I look like going in to work.

Is it the left ear? That's the one I have pierced.

[–] DasRav@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Shoulda gone to the wokesite instead.

[–] RandomUser161@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

Could always go for woke.

[–] himeneko@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There's nothing gay about using a grinder on the wokesite.

[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

I'm mean worksite. FUCK.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Tell them it's not a professional thing and youre also gay off the worksite. They probably think it's a union thing where you're being gay at work when it's not your job, if you're gay off the clock as well then they cant touch you and its a great way to collect overtime

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Think of it as an opportunity to broaden your horizons.

[–] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm not broadening anything except my wide wife, if you know what I mean.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Wife ~~intensifying~~ broadening