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He just sits his ass down on all those buttons- he may or may not be firing lasers out into space
(lemmus.org)
Firing lasers with his ass.
this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2026
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Fire up the inertial dampeners, retract all moorings and clear space dock. It's time to boldy go where no one has gone before!
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Nah, see, Federation has advanced haptic systems that can tell it's a butt and therefore not valid input.
What about the guest aliens with hand-butt?
Galaxy-class is probably like that fancy BMWs with personalized automatic seat- and driving-wheel-adjustments and driver-specific preferred settings for Ul and entertainment-center...
Well, that's just another opportunity for the crew to have some personal growth in resolving the misunderstanding.
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Didn't Jonathan Frakes often lean due to back injuries?
yea, thats why he has the meme of him straddling a chair, or leaning on parts of the bridge.
Data's in the background trying to figure out why they just destroyed the mining colony, and realising it's those damned organics and their mating rituals again.
The ship knows exactly who is where and what their intent is. The buttons are only needed because a direct brain-computer link would drive the computer insane.
The ship knows where he is by knowing where he isn't.
Why do they even need Data? It seems like in episodes where they really make use of the ships computer (like the one where Dr Crusher is stuck in a collapsing universe) the computer is just as effective. Also when they are doing NCIS style enhance on an image or something.
Why do they need any crew member? Just send the ship off by itself!
Except that the entire point is for the crew to go out and look around themselves. They're not just serving a function, they're explorers. And so is Data.
They cannot beam the computer down to planets, and also Data has a lot of character driven stories that wouldn't work with the ship. The ship definitely doesn't care to be more human like or to create art.
If my 2023 tablet can tell the difference between my palm and my fingers, I’m willing to believe a critical control surface on a 2360s starship knows a butt when it sees one.
You're saying they have cheek rejection in the future?
Cheek and taint!
After the third or fourth unfortunate "accidental discharge" incident it was deemed wise to implement a comprehensive butt rejection protocol on all control panels.
Ok, let's assume they are capacitive touch. I think they may have made safe for sitting pants by then.
They could have had an episode where Data feels left out because he can’t do any of the consoles.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't data have non silicone skin?
Bioplast which is probably biological plastic?
I'm going to be honest. I tried hitting that link on my phone, and it brought up a site that was less than friendly to my VPN/ad blockers.
yeah fandom sucks, but it is the best star trek wiki, content wise
Oh you were talking about the site. My bad homie.
This ain't about fandoms my man's.
my adblocker takes out the worst of it, so I dunno to what you're referring
spoiler
Ur doing better than me(or most).
You know what they say happens when you assume things.
Class out, ass out!
She looks like she wouldn't mind him shooting his torpedo at her.
Lower the rear deflector shield 👁️👄👁️
Lyta
Hes probably raining down a barrage of Photon Torpedos onto whatever stupid planet they are orbiting. Who probably deserves it for whatever stupid reason the enterprise had to come visit them to help with in the first place. Like “oh our corrupt political system has us at war with eachother” or “our sun is about to explode.” Cry about it some more.
Integrated butt-recognition and -suppression.
Ass-controlled space lasers? Are you trying to summon MTG?
If I can get her within range of the lasers then sure. Will be very fitting- hoisted by her own petard.
That's how he flirts with the ship computer.
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