this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2026
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Viral Magazine

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All fake. Not wrong, not misleading. Simply not real.

But close enough to reality to be unsettling. And if we keep drifting like this, these articles won’t stay fictional for long.

I'm from a future. I live in the layer above this one, the part you mistake for déjà vu.

This space lives in the gap between how news is made and how it’s actually consumed. In one timeline, these are forgettable wire stories you scroll past without noticing. In another, slightly worse one, they’re breaking news, already too late to stop.

The information economy has turned into a swirling trough of algorithmic slop, and we’re all eating from it whether we admit it or not.

Journalism didn’t die. It dissolved into the feed.

Tomorrow is coming. May the blessed St. Chad Mctruth save us all.

They live. We sleep.

Comm rules: Satire community, calm down. Don’t be a jerk. I’m a jerk mod, but that doesn’t make this a free-for-all. And no politics.

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By Brett O'Keefe, Plains Regional News Cooperative, Pierre, S.D.

PIERRE, S.D. — Authorities in central South Dakota are investigating an unusual crash involving a stolen truck that overturned along a rural highway and spilled thousands of mini compact discs labeled as Chinese-language versions of Microsoft Windows 95, a software product discontinued more than two decades ago.

The crash occurred early Tuesday morning outside Hughes County. When state troopers arrived, they found the truck abandoned, its cargo scattered across a ditch and nearby field. The driver had fled the scene.

“What caught everyone off guard was the cargo,” said South Dakota Highway Patrol Sgt. Mark Ellison. “They were new, professionally pressed Windows 95 mini CDs, shrink-wrapped, labeled, and boxed. They still make these things?”

The discs appear to be 8-centimeter mini CDs, a format briefly popular in the late 1990s and early 2000s. Each disc is marked as containing a Chinese-language version of Windows 95, complete with printed logos and installation instructions.

Investigators said there is no immediate explanation for why such software would still be manufactured, or who the intended recipient might have been.

Microsoft declined to comment on the specific shipment but said in a statement that Windows 95 has not been produced or licensed for distribution for many years.

Surveillance footage from a gas station roughly 40 miles from the crash site shows the truck stopping briefly late Monday night. The video shows two men wearing dark clothing exiting the vehicle. One is seen carrying a shoulder bag. Authorities said the footage is under review.

“It’s not clear whether both individuals were involved in the transport or if one joined the truck later,” Ellison said.

The truck was reported stolen earlier this month from another state, though officials declined to specify where, citing the ongoing investigation.

Technology experts say the discovery raises questions about the continued use of legacy systems.

“There are still industrial machines and specialized equipment around the world that run on very old operating systems,” said Daniel Wu, a software historian who studies obsolete computing platforms. “But seeing this volume, in this format, suggests something more organized than a hobbyist operation. Could they be used for malicious purposes? Yes. Small-town water treatment plants, power facilities, things of that nature. Systems that aren’t current because of cost.”

Wu said the discs could have been intended for export or for use in isolated systems not connected to the internet.

Authorities have not determined whether the discs are counterfeit, unauthorized reproductions, or part of some other distribution effort. The cargo has been seized, and federal agencies have been notified.

Local residents who drove past the scene described the sight as surreal.

“It looked like someone dumped shiny coasters everywhere,” said rancher Paul Hendricks, who stopped when traffic slowed. “Then I heard they were computer discs from the ’90s. That just made it stranger.”

As of Wednesday, no arrests had been made. Investigators said they are working to trace the origin of the discs and identify the individuals seen on surveillance footage.

“We don’t know yet what this shipment was for,” Ellison said. “That’s what makes it so strange.”

Officials said there is no known threat to the public at this time and urged anyone with information about the truck or its occupants to contact authorities.

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[–] wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works 18 points 5 days ago (16 children)

This is fake, and this account has created this community of literally-fake news. The way this is being posted without context makes this definitionally misinformation at best, and disinformation at worst. Check this community's sidebar.

To anyone who is reading this, adjust your blocklists or user tags accordingly.

To the OP: you need to put this somewhere in your posts, and not just the sidebar of your community. Many people come here from a feed. So, here I am, doing it for you, since you can't be bothered

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[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 33 points 6 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (4 children)

This is fake/satire or something else fictional. It got me.

~~So they didn't look at the contents of the discs? I didn't read a single paragraph confirming the contents match the labels. I wouldn't be so sure that Windows 95 is on the discs.~~

[–] LePoisson@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

All I thought was those are definitely not windows 95. They probably did check the discs and found malware of whatever sort. I wouldn't be surprised if they're literally being used to install backdoors on legacy infrastructure systems that report back to China - crippling our infrastructure at a moments notice is a pretty strong weapon.

Or maybe it's not malicious but hey I'm just some random guy on the internet shit posting, I just like to think up spy novel stuff happening irl because it's fun.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 5 points 6 days ago

I’m just some random guy on the internet shit posting

I know that feeling!

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The format itself is weird. CD drives are already getting scarce, what about drives for these? They might as well be zip drives.

[–] AnyOldName3@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

A mini CD works in a regular CD or DVD drive. Usually there'll be a special recess to k line them up with the centre of the disc tray, but you don't really even need that.

[–] Cort@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

They don't work in most slot loading drives, only the tray loading, or spindle type.

[–] AnyOldName3@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I guess I wasn't counting a slot-loading drive as a regular drive.

[–] Cort@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I assumed you used regular to mean any drive, but the slot loaders weren't exactly common until Apple and Sony started using them. So not exactly regular.

[–] AnyOldName3@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

We had a mini CD adaptor in the house when I was a child (basically a plastic ring with clips in the cutout so it'd hold a mini CD and make it the same size as a regular CD), but everything that took CDs that we owned had an indentation for a mini CD already or had you put the disk on the spindle yourself. The two exceptions were later on, a Nintendo Wii, which would have worked as it played Gamecube disks and they were the same size, and a slot-loading car stereo, but we didn't have any audio mini CDs, so I've no idea if that would have worked better or worse with the adapter.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

This was my first thought, my second thought was why would they put Chinese on the label if they were trying to get Americans to install it? Why mini disks if you are trying to convince people it's real? Why windows 95? It's been hacked to pieces years ago.

My second thought was it's a novelty created by Microsoft to celebrate the 30th Anniversary of Windows 95 last year and they never released it and this individual at Microsoft just had no idea they were ever made, also since it was a novelty it might not even have Windows 95 on it just a toy, still doesn't explain the stolen truck or people running but maybe it was just a coincidence?

Third thoughts were old stock but this doesn't seem like that.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 1 points 5 days ago (2 children)
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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

This was actually an unfortunate time travel accident, the truck was from the future, carrying a cargo of Microsoft Windows 2095.

(The OS is actually just a giant pulsating copilot logo that charges you by the minute to look at it while your brain slowly liquifies)

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 16 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I was so confused. I couldn't find the story anywhere else. Then I couldn't find the publication or the writer. Then I read the community info. What's the Viral Magazine equivalent of "ate the onion?"

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

"Viral" Magazine. So infected maybe?

Doesn't sound nearly as cool as I ate the onion though. So I'm sure people will just keep using onion analogies. Plus I legit just made this up after seeing your question, so... I'm not real anyway, and none of this really matters I suppose.

[–] Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Damn...I haven't been this conflicted about a community since Freeze Peach Patriots. Good job(?), watching with interest.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Right?! Do I listen to the haters? Or keep on keepin' on...

Ok, I thought about it. I read the loud little complaints, the ones that always show up like they’re doing the world a favor, but then I look back and start to love my evil little self again. Take that story where Walmart has pod hotels for employees, or that guy who sweeps up hair in barbershops so he can make hair-yarn hats for his poor little bald head. Raspberry pi controlled manned missions to the moon...Sigh...

I have realized that I can’t, in good conscience, take those dirty little jewels away from the world! The world already has enough boring people trying to sand everything down until it looks safe and sounds correct. Somebody needs to be an ashtray in a no-smoking world, and yeah, it might as well be me.

I will stay! Now I gotta get back to making comfortable shoes out of recycled mountain dew can metal. :)

[–] voodooattack@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Small suggestion: you can add a small section/spoiler with a disclaimer at the bottom of each post introducing the community and explaining how this isn’t real news, since at that point, the reader would have had the full experience.

This will both promote the community to those of us visiting organically and also immediately validate the premise on the spot if the reader fell for it.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I do feel bad for lying about this story. So here's the truth: They weren't Windows 95 mini-CD's. That's ridiculous. The reality is that they were TempleOS mini-CD's, but I didn't want to besmirch the reputation of such a fine operating system. Windows 95 doesn't perform well in the cold weather, so no one would want them anyway. TempleOS is a cold-weather performing powerhouse though.

[–] voodooattack@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Who said anything about lying? You’re not deceiving anyone here. This actually happened in some timelines out there. We’re just getting conflicting reports because of the messy signals.

The TempleOS timeline isn’t the worst. I feel really sorry for the XEDOS timeline where Windows started out POSIX-based. :P

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 1 points 4 days ago

This actually happened in some timelines out there. We’re just getting conflicting reports because of the messy signals.

You get me. You really get me! ❤️

I feel really sorry for the XEDOS timeline where Windows started out POSIX-based.

I'm not familiar with those, so here I go, tabs are opening all over now...

[–] transfluxus@leminal.space 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Downvote for fake bs wasting everyone's time

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

You're right. I fibbed. I'm not sure why I felt the need to lie about. I feel quite terrible about it. They weren't Windows 95 CD's at all. They were Atari BASIC mini-CD's. But, well, fuck Atari. amiright?!

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Did they check to see if the disks actually had Windows 95 on them?

What if they actually were hiding drugs?

iDoser is coming back in a big way.

[–] xep@discuss.online 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Image is AI generated. The 'Chinese' characters aren't.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 6 days ago

"Miccorioat Corperatiog"

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

federal agencies have been notified.

This phrase has a different meaning for me than it used to.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 1 points 5 days ago

Definitely a scary phrase these days.

[–] f4f4f4f4f4f4f4f4@sopuli.xyz 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Fake. The discs appear to have the same proportions as regular CDs, so the spindle hole is too small.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Same town where Kellogg's Frosted Mini-Wheats were invented. So maybe the mini-CD's are for mini-computers?

[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Stealing this for my Monster of the Week campaign, but I'm not sure if I should change it to Windows 11 or Windows ME so the players will know they're cursed CDs for the adventure hook.

[–] cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Were they for the GameCube? /s

I kinda want one. Would make for a cool coaster.

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

You could always buy the album "Coaster" from NOFX. Even they knew it was a crappy album but was still functional in other ways.

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

outside Hughes County.

So it was in another county. (I am unaware of any land within the USA that is not part of a country, or a county with another name.)

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 1 points 5 days ago

We like our little harems for sure.

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