this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2025
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[–] four@lemmy.zip 54 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Even though I'm in a hetero relationship, sometimes I use "partner" just to keep people on their toes. And to keep some privacy as well

[–] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 4 days ago

I work and live in an extremely backwards area, so I love talking about all my partners. I usually see how deep I can get into them before dropping the "he's" to send them reeling, and then mention how we generally love getting off to see our loved ones at the end of work. It's actually interesting to me that pretty much every job I've ever worked has been a job that we work in pairs, which means I've got plenty of stories of 'partners' to share.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 57 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The owners of the company I work for asked if I wanted to be made partner. I was all, miss me with that gay shit.

The only sane way to react.

[–] horse@feddit.org 27 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Partner just sounds much nicer imo. It doesn't infantilise like "girlfriend" does (she's a woman, not a girl) and emphasises that we are equal partners working as a team in life.

Nowadays I just call her "wife" though 🙂

[–] white_nrdy@programming.dev 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm in the exact same boat. I've always preferred "partner" over "girlfriend" / "boyfriend" since I think it's a better description, because they are my life partner. I also use it because if I'm talking to random strangers (like on the internet), they don't need to know my situation. I also like it because it hopefully makes the term more widespread / removes some of the stigma, since maybe people won't assume the person is LGBTQ (or just won't care) given I'm cis+straight.

But I too will be switching to "wife" tomorrow

[–] horse@feddit.org 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

But I too will be switching to "wife" tomorrow

Congratulations! I hope you both have an amazing day!

[–] GrammarPolice@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

C'mon, calling girlfriend infantilising is just pedantic

[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 39 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

My wife and I often refer / have referred to the other as partner for two reasons: 1. boyfriend / girlfriend sounds a little juvenile, and 2. for the same reason that cis people put their pronouns in their signature / profile or whatever: it normalizes it and doesn't let people draw any further conclusions about our relationship beyond that there is someone to whom we are in some way committed.

[–] fushuan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I always prefer partner to boy/girl friend. Pre engagement it's the most serious/mature term you can use and it's more typical to use that term in my language.

Also privacy. In fact I use they/them usually to refer to my partner and they aren't necessarily nb. It's just more private.

[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 40 points 4 days ago

I didn't get it, so I asked my partner and they theysplained it to me.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I've been saying partner for at least five years. I'll casually drop her gender once in a while to remove any mystery for people who don't know me very well who might be curious. It really doesn't matter, but I do it just so they don't wonder about it because I remember when that mattered to me when I was younger and stupider.

But a big part of it is also that we're semi old and calling her my gf sounds kinda silly. We're adults and we're middle-aged. I might just start calling her my spouse, who knows.

But you're free to assume I suck dick. Doesn't bother me if you think that. Plenty of my friends suck dick on all sides of gender.

[–] AlecSadler@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I either say, "my wiiiife" in a borat tone, or "partner".

Also wtf is wrong with partner? People get weirdly bent. We decide life shit together and do life shit together. Sounds partnery to me.

[–] morbidcactus@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 days ago

I've used partner for years partly because we've been common law for like near a decade now and even if we were officially married, it's still a partnership. I've never had an issue personally.

[–] Evil_Incarnate@sopuli.xyz 24 points 4 days ago

I use "partner" and "they" sometimes when out and about alone. Most people don't notice and assume (correctly) that we're a straight couple. But those that don't are the ones that give much better customer service and are generally nicer.

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 22 points 4 days ago
[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I try to just use gender neutral language in general because it's more equitable.

I'm also not attracted to men. At all. The opposite in fact. And very secure in that. Ive also learned that I present in such a way that nobody, gay or straight, has any fucking idea what my sexual orientation is.

I also don't identify as anything, because it's nobody's fucking business who I choose to fuck unless we're fucking.

Long story short I've had conversations with more than one gay man where you can practically see their head exploding trying to figure out what the fuck is talking to them.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't find it hillarious.

[–] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sounds like its very hard to talk to you.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Imagine not knowing someone's gender. Untalkable.

[–] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago

I was referring to the high level of hostility they show strangers by default.

As a polyamorous pansexual, it just works better. It covers all genders, and it keeps me from having to explain my relationship situation during casual anecdotes.

I find it interesting that "partner" has become a catch-all term in the last decade or so. It seems to coincide with the rise of the popularity of polyamory, which makes me wonder how much the lifestyle has prompted the use of the term.

[–] localhorst@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Tonight on this episode of "Gay or Australian?"

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 8 points 4 days ago

So when I'm balls deep in my partner...

[–] huf@hexbear.net 5 points 4 days ago

LGBTQC+ (the C is for cowboy)

[–] TheJesusaurus@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 days ago

Or just from europe