this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2025
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A raccoon that broke into a Virginia store and joyfully drank its way through the liquor aisle is now suspected of a wider crime spree, officials say.

A Hanover animal control officer suspects the stripe-tailed mammal also broke into a nearby karate studio and then raided the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) for snacks.

"Supposedly, this is the third break-in he's had," said Officer Samantha Martin.

Ms Martin says it's only a matter of time before the masked bandit strikes the shopping centre again.

FYI - there are tshirts and hoodies available, but only for another ~~41~~ 17 hrs.

https://www.bonfire.com/trashed-panda/

top 27 comments
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[–] Pofski@lemmy.world 36 points 4 months ago (1 children)

There should be more news like this.

The MPR raccoon was a fun story.

[–] starik@lemmy.zip 15 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Do we know if other mammals can enjoy the feeling of being drunk the way humans do?

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 26 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Pretty solid evidence a wide range of animals get drunk

[–] HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Autumn is their favorite time of year. All that fruit fermenting on the ground after falling from the trees is sweet nectar to them.

The college I went to had crabapple trees planted around campus, in the fall I enjoyed watching the squirrels eat the fermented fruit and stumble around drunk.

[–] evenglow@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

There was that time a moose got so drunk it got stuck in a tree.

[–] dan1101@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

Supposed to be part of the reason that yellow jackets are such assholes in the autumn.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 2 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] evenglow@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Look it up. Monkeys steal drinks from tourists.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 1 points 4 months ago
[–] Velypso@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Aside from the drunk monkeys, there are videos that show animals getting absolutely shmammered from fermented fruit that has fallen on the ground in africa, and they have documented the same animals going to the same spot yearly to get the good stuff.

Drunk elephants are funny as fuck

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 1 points 4 months ago

Not just Africa--all over the world. Lots of videos of squirrels and even moose going for nice, naturally fermented apples.

[–] RaoulDuke25@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 4 months ago

I think monkeys and apes like to party too.

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Lots. Monkeys and chimps routinely eat fermented fruit from the floor of the jungle so they can get wasted.

[–] starik@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

So the Monkey Booze from Sekiro is based in reality

[–] rozodru@pie.andmc.ca 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Raccoons will get into anything and everything if they're determined, and those little chubby dudes ARE determined.

I live in Toronto, Canada and the city at one point rolled out compost bins with locks on them for the sole purpose of keeping the Trash Pandas out. It didn't work. They figured out how to unlock them and get into the food inside. The mom raccoons would teach their babies how to unlock them. They also like to make friends with household cats in hopes of getting some of the cats food. a couple of neighbourhood raccoons made friends with my two cats for this purpose. they would sit at the patio door and chirp back and forth with each other obviously plotting how they could all collectively feast on my food.

they're lucky they're cute, they use it to their advantage.

[–] SinningStromgald@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

The only sure way to keep a Trash Panda from your trash is a heavy weight. Camping areas around here bolt one or two cinder blocks to the tops of trash cans.

[–] lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 4 months ago
[–] TheWeirdestCunt@lemmy.today 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Does anyone know if those hoodies ship internationally? I was really wanting one but the page is so US centric that I can't even put in the country I'm ordering from without going to the checkout page

[–] HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)
[–] TheWeirdestCunt@lemmy.today 3 points 4 months ago

Nice thanks I'll order one when I get home then

[–] 20cello@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Ferreal. It sounds like this is a suburban teenager raccoon. Gonna break into the mall? On it. Start with the McDojo for some sweet nunchuks and badass headband, then the liquor store for the drunken master training montage, before the DMV for those hot fries. 🤌🏼

[–] 20cello@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago
[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

Rocket has fallen on hard times.

[–] 0_o7@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 4 months ago

Welcome to Raccoon City