food

I was basically trying to cook these as if they were meat; was that conceptually the wrong approach?

Wrong approach, I'd say. Meat is made of fiber bundles that keep it together. Tofu is basically compressed particles. And meat has fat. I agree with @microfiche@hexbear.net that if you want fried tofu, dredging with corn starch (and a vegan egg replacement?) is the way to go. In the past, I've basically copied the frying instructions for general tso/orange chicken, and it worked great.

Also, soy tofu is really good when it's just diced and blanched in salty water. then you add those cubes to something soupy or saucy.

The absolute simplest way I make it is tonkatsu (? Not sure if I spelled that correctly) style. Just a light dusting of cornstarch and shallow fry, served with a spicy ketchup mayo.

Do you need to reach that internal temp? Can’t you eat the tofu raw?

Medium/medium-high heat. Let pan get hot, add oil, let oil come to temp, then add tofu. Then let it sit and develop some color. Don't fiddle w it till it wants to come loose. It'll come apart less easily this way.

Have you tried dredging your tofu in corn starch then pan frying? Starch gives a great crust and helps prevent some sticking. I'm not but that last bit applies to most moist/wet cookable items.

As an after thought, have you tried something like a fish turner spatula for fragile stuff like your tofu? They're really great for fragile shit.

For something like chickpea tofu you would normally cook it by simmering in a sauce.

you probably need more oil than you think

What type of pan are you using? I use Teflon pans for tofu and find that tofu has sticking problems with other types of pan. If you don't have Teflon you could try other types of non-stick but they aren't as non-stick as Teflon unfortunately.

Also why are you cooking to a certain temperature? Tofu can be eaten raw. When you fry it it's just to heat it up and get it crispy, not to kill bacteria.

I was basically trying to cook these as if they were meat; was that conceptually the wrong approach?

Yes, tofu is not meat.

Maybe try following a recipe for tofu? You can try salt and pepper tofu, mapo tofu, scrambled tofu perhaps?

Coating tofu in a bit of corn starch takes out some of the moisture and helps it fry. When adding crispy tofu to a sauce or to a larger dish, I’ll usually bake corn starch coated tofu instead.

Try to squeeze out moisture by pressing your tofu first (but not so hard that it crumbles).

Instead of using tongs, use a wooden spoon or spatula to separate the bottom of the tofu from the pan to prevent tearing.

Tearing it into chunks instead of cutting it into cubes helps it absorb sauces and flavor better.

Air fry if you have an air fryer could be another approach.

Maybe it's your frying pan. The key to non stick cooking, without problematic teflon, is using a well seasoned pan. A well seasoned pan means one that has naturally been coated with a patina layer.