Probably only stage 3 of the 10 stages of entlightenment in zen buddhism:

1. Seeking the Ox. All people are already “seeking the Ox,” searching for fulfillment and happiness in their work, relationships and other worldly pursuits.

2. Finding the Tracks. In this phase, the insight dawns that all worldly forms come and go, leaving just fleeting satisfaction. Something more lasting is sought.

3. First Glimpse of the Ox. This refers to a person’s first “spiritual experience,” or satori (flash of insight.) It can take the form of an epiphany, Oneness-awareness while out in nature, a near-death experience, or kundalini during meditation. The “glimpse” makes an impact and inspires us to continue on the journey.

4. Catching the Ox. At this stage, changes in focus and life structure are inevitable; one begins to lose attachment to material things and may change their job, relationships or other circumstances to make their spiritual journey a priority.

5. Taming the Ox. The seeker becomes aware that there is a “Watcher” dimension within them that is independent of thoughts, perceptions and emotions. It is the space from which all “I” thoughts arise.

6. Riding the Ox Home. This “Watcher” dimension grows stronger as the advancing practitioner is no longer ruled by the mind, thoughts, ego, and who they thought they were. We may have thoughts and emotions, but we become less and less prone to being swept away by the “monkey mind” or identifying with it.

7. Ox Forgotten, Self Alone. We realize that we are not apart from our Watcher dimension, True Nature, or Oneness. The “seeker,” the “seeking” and the “sought” are all of the same energy field and therefore one and the same; however, we may still experience ourselves as a separate being.

8. Both Ox and Self Forgotten. Separateness and duality evaporate as as we see ourselves and all things as part of the All That Is, the Oneness. It is a visceral experience, not just an idea or concept.

9. Return to the Source. While Oneness is seen as the Source of All That Is, forms were thought to emerge and return to Oneness instead of being continuously synonymous with it. In this phase, the linear time illusion/construct dissolves; past, present, future and all forms are appreciated as the timeless Now of Oneness.

10. Entering the Marketplace with Helping Hands. The Enlightened “person” is now the embodiment of Awakened Consciousness and returns to “mundane” life, knowing that nothing is mundane; All is Oneness at all points in time and space. Bliss, gratitude and unconditional love prevail.

This is actually a well known thing in Buddhism and other meditative practices. Most of the old beliefs about yourself fall away (losing that ego), and then you just replace them with new beliefs (develop a new spiritual ego that usually feels nicer). And you have no idea how insidious and subtle it can be. You of course hear about he most extreme examples but it can also be very inward turned spiritual ego that's mostly damaging to oneself. There's a whole new level of practice in dissolving that too (which is actually why having a teacher and being a member of a spiritual community is useful because if it's a healthy community, they will bring it to surface one way or another). There's a vicious cycle where the unhealthy communities (cults) led by people who are in this god realm delusion are the ones that get the press, so people start avoiding communities because they think that they're all cults anyway, and then they do practice by themselves and might gain some realization, and then develop a spiritual ego... and decide they should become teachers and then create an unhealthy community.

Martial arts. This is why I find the spiritual (think more like "in the spirit of friendship" type spirit, or like "a way to be in life") aspect of martial arts so interesting and fertile for learning. Since if you know how much you can lose to others even in a playfight situation, you can't help but be humbled by it, often.

Meditation is great and all - and really challenging, often harrowing, not for the faint of heart. Vipassana... yikes! But why I like martial arts more is because when you connect with awareness of your body and someone else's body in realtime... like a body physics experiment from the inside of a meditative consciousness... the bullshit detector is right in your face (your training partner!) and you're not off away floating unchallenged somewhere in premature "enlightenment" land, because you can't afford to be, you will get hit in the face!

I suck in a fight - everyone ultimately sucks in a fight, that's my takeaway from 25+ years. Fighting is not any of us at our highest levels of humanity. Even if you "win" it doesn't say anything about next time. I train to be unfightable, like, "actually we're not going to fight, thank you". I can and will enforce my refusal to participate in violence - if you make me fight you, I've already lost. That's my meditation all day every day.

There is no enlightenment though, just more learning every moment! Nobody is enlightened, haha, those people are kidding themselves! But we can all have lots of little aha moments, opportunities to be less of an idiot.

So just try treat people kindly and find ways to stick up for humanity, without becoming a narcissistic fascist egoist who believes their own bullshit. That's it.

We are fuckin nothing, less than nothing, not even temporary nothing, and this experience is everything, we are kind of everything there is, just this now... it can't really be explained and it's unimportant anyway... so it's best to enjoy it, laugh at it, and allow others to do the same as long as they're harming nobody.

That's my way anyway... through the body, direct experience, and the medium of playful conflict.

I don't talk about it online very much these days because the modern internet doesn't give much of a shit about long-form discussions. Lemmy fills me with a little more optimism.

Thanks for reading my adhd ramble of the evening, if you're still here!

I have a long standing joke about bragging about people being so modest or humble. Most people don’t get it and think I’m literally boasting, which is, of course, very stupid. It can be frustrating even.

This is essentially the concept of false virtue. The logic is along the lines of people who are of false virtue are those who pay constant attention to just how virtuous they are and use it to fuel ego/superiority complex in their own moral grandstanding.

Meanwhile those of true virtue do not recognize or pay attention ti/hype up their virtuous actions even to themselves, thus preserving humility and acting out of the pure sake of goodness and not clout chasing. Self interest wearing the mask of virtue is constantly concerned with appearances and looking good to others/themselves, true virtue simply is and its being requires no recognition of itself.