I for sure ate the onion on that headline
this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2025
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers
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holy fuck, so did i. I was like "there's no way this can be real" but believed it anyway. TBF, it's something that nintendo would do.
Nintendo would absolutely do this if the patent office let them.
I’m almost afraid a Nintendo exec will see this and think it’s a good idea
Part of this is kinda true. From an interview in 2009, Miyamoto actually said he originally wanted to patent the mechanic of jumping for Donkey Kong. The joke here is that 40 years later, they actually would try.
Didn't Atari do it first?
Doing it first doesn’t matter for patents apparently
Someone should patent "being a little bitch baby" and then take Nintendo to court for using their concept whenever Nintendo try to patent something like "fish which move out of your way when you swim close" or "video game controller which you control with your anal sphincter"
Me playing an mmo where you can't jump...